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Turn On The Light

Martin Lorentzson

July 10, 2015

Genre: Country

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Views: 1277

Responses: 8




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About This Song


The story is about the choice we have when we come across something dark or bad in our lives. It's written from three perspectives (a boy, a girl and the narrator). It's not the typical – or most commercial lyric approach - but the title line sort of draw me to that set up.



Recorded in Nashville in May 2015 at the Beaird Music Group. Vocaist: Adam Fears.



Musicians:

Drums: Jerry Roe

Bass: Eli Beaird

Electric: Kenny Greenberg

Piano: Howard Duck

Steel: Scotty Sanders

Acoustic: Larry Beaird

Feedback Requested


Whatever cross your mind, I'm all ears... grin


8 Responses


Carlos Tabora

Hi Martin. I love the melody in this song. The lyrics have some cool lines (Forever lost and never found, Eye for an eye and we all go blind) but there’s also some lines that sound good but when I think about them, it’s hard to understand exactly what they mean (i.e. Maybe it’s the other way around). So individually the lines sound cool, but when you put them together I think there is some confusion. I’d like to see more cohesiveness between the verses and overall story. Very interesting song and as i said earlier, I do like the melody, hook or title of the song too.

July 11, 2015

Martin Lorentzson

Hi Carlos!

Thank you so much for your kind words and your suggestions for improvement.

You’re on to something, something that I need to keep in mind when developing my lyrics. Always have the listener in mind: is the story clear and cohesive? Does it makes sense all the way through? Does the chorus (or in this case the bridge) summarise the idea of the song in a simple, understandable way?

So yes, there might be something missing. It might also be that the overall idea is too complex – three different perspectives and a bridge that’s supposed to tie the story together.

Cheers,
Martin

July 11, 2015

No members have liked this comment.

Dick Plunk

Martin,

This is a good old style country song. It’s interesting because I know what Carlos is saying. But for me - I got it all the first time through. I think it would be weaker if you made everything too obvious. In fact, I was impressed with the way you crafted the verses.  My only critique would be:  I think the “eye to eye…” paragraph is actually a chorus because you repeat it (bridges usually don’t repeat).  I would avoid repeating the last verse. To give the song enough length. I would suggest:
verse
chorus
verse
chorus
musical bridge
chorus

Good song. I’m looking forward to more.

July 15, 2015

No members have liked this comment.

Martin Lorentzson

Hi Dick!

Thanks for your kind words and taking the time to comment on my song.

I knew it was kind of a risk work with different perspectives, so it makes me happay that you got the message.

Structure:  Well, I see what you mean. I think the set up of the song structure is commonly referred to as a Verse Refrain form” (where the refrain is the last line that’s repeated at the end or the beginning of the verse, tying the song together). It’s also described as a AABA form.
At least that’s what they tought me at Berklee.

So for me, it’s not a chorus but more of a bridge. But you’re right: the bridge occurs two times, which is non-typical, turning it into an AABABA form instead. So I guess we have some kind of hybrid going on here. And I had my doubts whether ro repeat that last verse or not, but I kept in the end.

Thanks again,
Martin

July 16, 2015

No members have liked this comment.

Ryan Sturges

Great song. Feels like closing time.

August 27, 2015

Gregg Shively

Love the melody, love the feel, but like Carlos (above)it’s a bit confusing ... in the notes about the song you explain it’s written from 3 perspectives, but without those notes ??? some of the lines you crafted are wonderful but I think it needs a bit of cohesion to give it clarity. Thanks for posting ... blessings on ya <><

May 16, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Martin Lorentzson

Hi Gregg!

Thanks for feedback, really appreciate it!

Yeah, your input is valid, the “3 perspectives approach” demands a lot from the listener. 

Considering the feedback I’ve received from you and other Frettie members, as well as from the NSAI evaluation, I’m eager to make this song work lyrically too. Anyone up for a co-write?

May 17, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Noora Särkinen

Awesome, just love it!!

December 03, 2017

No members have liked this comment.


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1

Carlos Tabora

Hi Martin. I love the melody in this song. The lyrics have some cool lines (Forever lost and never found, Eye for an eye and we all go blind) but there’s also some lines that sound good but when I think about them, it’s hard to understand exactly what they mean (i.e. Maybe it’s the other way around). So individually the lines sound cool, but when you put them together I think there is some confusion. I’d like to see more cohesiveness between the verses and overall story. Very interesting song and as i said earlier, I do like the melody, hook or title of the song too.

July 11, 2015

0

Martin Lorentzson

Hi Carlos!

Thank you so much for your kind words and your suggestions for improvement.

You’re on to something, something that I need to keep in mind when developing my lyrics. Always have the listener in mind: is the story clear and cohesive? Does it makes sense all the way through? Does the chorus (or in this case the bridge) summarise the idea of the song in a simple, understandable way?

So yes, there might be something missing. It might also be that the overall idea is too complex – three different perspectives and a bridge that’s supposed to tie the story together.

Cheers,
Martin

July 11, 2015

0

Dick Plunk

Martin,

This is a good old style country song. It’s interesting because I know what Carlos is saying. But for me - I got it all the first time through. I think it would be weaker if you made everything too obvious. In fact, I was impressed with the way you crafted the verses.  My only critique would be:  I think the “eye to eye…” paragraph is actually a chorus because you repeat it (bridges usually don’t repeat).  I would avoid repeating the last verse. To give the song enough length. I would suggest:
verse
chorus
verse
chorus
musical bridge
chorus

Good song. I’m looking forward to more.

July 15, 2015

0

Martin Lorentzson

Hi Dick!

Thanks for your kind words and taking the time to comment on my song.

I knew it was kind of a risk work with different perspectives, so it makes me happay that you got the message.

Structure:  Well, I see what you mean. I think the set up of the song structure is commonly referred to as a Verse Refrain form” (where the refrain is the last line that’s repeated at the end or the beginning of the verse, tying the song together). It’s also described as a AABA form.
At least that’s what they tought me at Berklee.

So for me, it’s not a chorus but more of a bridge. But you’re right: the bridge occurs two times, which is non-typical, turning it into an AABABA form instead. So I guess we have some kind of hybrid going on here. And I had my doubts whether ro repeat that last verse or not, but I kept in the end.

Thanks again,
Martin

July 16, 2015

1

Ryan Sturges

Great song. Feels like closing time.

August 27, 2015

0

Gregg Shively

Love the melody, love the feel, but like Carlos (above)it’s a bit confusing ... in the notes about the song you explain it’s written from 3 perspectives, but without those notes ??? some of the lines you crafted are wonderful but I think it needs a bit of cohesion to give it clarity. Thanks for posting ... blessings on ya <><

May 16, 2017

0

Martin Lorentzson

Hi Gregg!

Thanks for feedback, really appreciate it!

Yeah, your input is valid, the “3 perspectives approach” demands a lot from the listener. 

Considering the feedback I’ve received from you and other Frettie members, as well as from the NSAI evaluation, I’m eager to make this song work lyrically too. Anyone up for a co-write?

May 17, 2017

0

Noora Särkinen

Awesome, just love it!!

December 03, 2017


Got his eyes fixed on the screen
Pictures he'd wished he'd never seen
Headlines black as the night, he's like
When it's dark, turn on the light

On her way back home from school
Boys chase her down, call her a fool
Always there to pick a fight, she's like
When it's dark, turn on the light

Eye for an eye and we all go blind
Forever lost and never found
No one ever died from too much love
Maybe it's the other way around

People tell me I'm naive
Living in a world of make-believe
Wake up, get your mind right, I'm like
When it's dark turn on the light




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