I wrote this song in memory of my twin sister Ann Marie.
any feedback is welcome:)
Thank you so much Bridget! All the best in your songwriting, I’m always happy to help with feedback if you ever want. I think the more we write, the better we get, as with anything. I seem to be learning the more I do:)
July 09, 2015
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I’ve always been a fan of your music. Glad to see a new song of yours posted!
July 09, 2015
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Hi Mary. Thanks for the feedback.
This is a very touching song lyrically with a beautiful melody. I agree with Bridget as i can’t really recommend any changes. There is nice prosody between the music, melody and words.
I’ll be sure to check out your other songs too!
July 10, 2015
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That;s great Mary…I joined an Americana/Country band last year (here in France!)...and getting to love this kind of vibe. Thumbs up.
January 12, 2016
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Can’t really critique such a personal song, but I will say that the line “the years go by and teach what the days never knew” is brilliant! Thanks for sharing your heart!! Blessings on ya <><
May 16, 2017
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Wishing by Mary Segato
What I’d give to spend another day with you, in those little red K-mart boots
Running and playing in the brook at early dawn
Chasing butterflies until the day was gone
Little did we know, sister that you’d go
Before you could grow old
Chorus
I’m wishing and wishing upon your star
Where you burn bright from afar
I’m wishing and wishing I could hold you tonight
Then everything would be all right, If just tonight…It would feel so right
Sit, listening to the babbling of the brook, thinking what’s changed since you’ve been gone.
The years go by and teach what the days never knew
Wouldn’t trade one moment spent with you.
Glad I didn’t know, the way our life would go
Just memories left to hold
Chorus
Bridge- Never gonna stop hoping to see you again
In the circle of life, we’ll meet where we began
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Mary, thank you very much for your feedback!
This song is very beautiful…emotionally moving and heartfelt.
I can’t offered any constructive criticism because I think it is perfectly crafted as it is- the lyrics are meaningful and honest, well structured with nice melodic phrasing and dynamics.
I am glad to have found your page as I can gain some songwriting tips from studying your songs.
All the best!
July 09, 2015
0
Thank you so much Bridget! All the best in your songwriting, I’m always happy to help with feedback if you ever want. I think the more we write, the better we get, as with anything. I seem to be learning the more I do:)
July 09, 2015
0
I’ve always been a fan of your music. Glad to see a new song of yours posted!
July 09, 2015
0
Hi Mary. Thanks for the feedback.
This is a very touching song lyrically with a beautiful melody. I agree with Bridget as i can’t really recommend any changes. There is nice prosody between the music, melody and words.
I’ll be sure to check out your other songs too!
July 10, 2015
0
That;s great Mary…I joined an Americana/Country band last year (here in France!)...and getting to love this kind of vibe. Thumbs up.
January 12, 2016
0
Can’t really critique such a personal song, but I will say that the line “the years go by and teach what the days never knew” is brilliant! Thanks for sharing your heart!! Blessings on ya <><
May 16, 2017
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Mary, thank you very much for your feedback!
This song is very beautiful…emotionally moving and heartfelt.
I can’t offered any constructive criticism because I think it is perfectly crafted as it is- the lyrics are meaningful and honest, well structured with nice melodic phrasing and dynamics.
I am glad to have found your page as I can gain some songwriting tips from studying your songs.
All the best!
July 09, 2015
No members have liked this comment.