I've been having a lot of late nights lately. When I finally get back to campus, I park a few blocks down, and find myself walking through campus streets. Wrote this on the walk back tonight.
I realize this might be a niche song, relevant to those living around campus. Not sure if it'll make impact with most people. But it felt write to write and release, so I did. Let me know if you feel something from it
Joey,
The song paints a picture for sure. Nothing overdone and it always comes back to center. I would leave off the very last tag, but its a fine song.
February 23, 2014
I really love this song and being a college student this resonates so much with me. I especially love the “get back, get back” part as it is kind of anthemic sounding in my head. I agree with Greg on the last couple lines. I think ending it on “I’m calling it a night” would have more punch.
February 23, 2014
Joey. I like this. You captured that midnight feel really nicely. I really liked the first version of the “chorus” when that hit I was like wow i’m into this. I would of loved for that to stay the same the second time you sang it. I was looking forward to hearing it again. Keep going with this one. I think it has some nice potential. I love the line “That drink I had, or four or five will keep me warm until I find” its nice.
February 23, 2014
Joey - I already told you on FB that I think this is a great song, but I might as well record it here, too. The groove on this is really catchy. And I think the “and the midnight streets of campus ....” verse is such a great lyrical portrait.
The only critique point for me is the “cause I don’t trust myself behind the wheel…....” lines. To me, these two lines feel like a different issue that doesn’t belong in this song (could be a whole other song). By introducing those two lines, you had me waiting (distracted) for explanation of why you said that.
But that is minor compared to how cool this song is.
February 24, 2014
Dick, I agree there are some curve balls to this one. The line:
“I just walked here. Cause I don’t trust myself behind the wheel.” is meant to be a foreshadowing to the pre-chorus: “That drink I had, or four or five.”
With that, the next line “Cause all it takes is one mistake, for everything to disappear” was a direct quote from my girlfriend warning me about my fast driving, the week before I wrote this. When she heard this in the song, it got her laughing.
Distracting as it may be sometimes, these direct add-ins from real life make my songs “for me” on first draft. My hope is that they can stay authentic, and include elements of my life, and add to the story, without going too far left or right of the main point.
I should mention - Barbara Cloyd also said the same thing you did. The song sometimes loses focus. So good on you! You’re saving a lot of songwriters time and money when you review songs!
And I think you and her are right- especially with country music. The linear path should be the foundation for “story” songs. But with audience I’ve been performing for lately, I realize my appeal happens best when the delivery is catchy (music, melody, production) and I can keep people listening and guessing at the meaning of the lyrics. For me, that does’t mean I should write gibberish (Justin Vernon) or try to mask the lyrics (Ben Gibbard), but instead, should pursue a round about way of telling the story that draws the listener in, while keeping the mind ticking.
March 13, 2014
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Joey, You really have a talent for meaningful lyrics and interesting melodies! I agree with ending it on “I’m calling it a night”.
March 18, 2014
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Downtown, city sounds
Waiting for the bus to come around.
I just walked here.
Cause I don't trust myself behind the wheel
Since all it takes is one mistake for everything to disappear.
And the midnight streets of campus can't fool me.
I know every street from here to 17th.
That drink I had, or four or five will keep me warm until I find
The sidewalk to your porch light.
Oh oh oh Can you help me, get back, get back, get back, get back, get back
Oh oh oh Can you help me, get back, I'm calling it a night
Oh oh oh Can you help me, get back, get back, get back, get back, get back, get back
Oh oh oh I'm calling it a night
Downtown, making rounds
Hopping bars and trading cards.
I used to watch them.
See myself inside the luxury cars.
But Im not sure, what it takes, to change exactly who you really are.
And the midnight streets of campus tell me things.
Tonight I've walked every street from here to 17th.
That drink I had, or four or five will keep me warm until I find
The sidewalk to your porch light.
Oh oh oh Can you help me, get back, get back, get back, get back, get back
Oh oh oh Can you help me, get back, I'm calling it a night
Oh oh oh Can you help me, get back, get back, get back, get back, get back, get back
Oh oh oh I'm calling it a night
Oh oh oh I'm calling it a night
Oh oh oh I'm calling it a night
Downtown, sitting around
Talking life under your porch light
2
I like this! I think that even though you mention campus streets, it paints a picture that most people can relate to. It becomes more of a description. Sounds pop to me and makes me want to spend more time with your music. Not sure about the breakdown after the first CH (I’d have to listen to it again and I will gladly do so) because when it broke down I had wanted it to dynamically stay up. But if you are hearing more production on this, then you might have a better idea for that section. I think the CH is very hooky… simple and hooky.
February 23, 2014
1
Joey,
The song paints a picture for sure. Nothing overdone and it always comes back to center. I would leave off the very last tag, but its a fine song.
February 23, 2014
2
I really love this song and being a college student this resonates so much with me. I especially love the “get back, get back” part as it is kind of anthemic sounding in my head. I agree with Greg on the last couple lines. I think ending it on “I’m calling it a night” would have more punch.
February 23, 2014
1
Joey. I like this. You captured that midnight feel really nicely. I really liked the first version of the “chorus” when that hit I was like wow i’m into this. I would of loved for that to stay the same the second time you sang it. I was looking forward to hearing it again. Keep going with this one. I think it has some nice potential. I love the line “That drink I had, or four or five will keep me warm until I find” its nice.
February 23, 2014
1
Joey - I already told you on FB that I think this is a great song, but I might as well record it here, too. The groove on this is really catchy. And I think the “and the midnight streets of campus ....” verse is such a great lyrical portrait.
The only critique point for me is the “cause I don’t trust myself behind the wheel…....” lines. To me, these two lines feel like a different issue that doesn’t belong in this song (could be a whole other song). By introducing those two lines, you had me waiting (distracted) for explanation of why you said that.
But that is minor compared to how cool this song is.
February 24, 2014
0
Dick, I agree there are some curve balls to this one. The line:
“I just walked here. Cause I don’t trust myself behind the wheel.” is meant to be a foreshadowing to the pre-chorus: “That drink I had, or four or five.”
With that, the next line “Cause all it takes is one mistake, for everything to disappear” was a direct quote from my girlfriend warning me about my fast driving, the week before I wrote this. When she heard this in the song, it got her laughing.
Distracting as it may be sometimes, these direct add-ins from real life make my songs “for me” on first draft. My hope is that they can stay authentic, and include elements of my life, and add to the story, without going too far left or right of the main point.
I should mention - Barbara Cloyd also said the same thing you did. The song sometimes loses focus. So good on you! You’re saving a lot of songwriters time and money when you review songs!
And I think you and her are right- especially with country music. The linear path should be the foundation for “story” songs. But with audience I’ve been performing for lately, I realize my appeal happens best when the delivery is catchy (music, melody, production) and I can keep people listening and guessing at the meaning of the lyrics. For me, that does’t mean I should write gibberish (Justin Vernon) or try to mask the lyrics (Ben Gibbard), but instead, should pursue a round about way of telling the story that draws the listener in, while keeping the mind ticking.
March 13, 2014
0
Joey, You really have a talent for meaningful lyrics and interesting melodies! I agree with ending it on “I’m calling it a night”.
March 18, 2014
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Jayne Sachs
I like this! I think that even though you mention campus streets, it paints a picture that most people can relate to. It becomes more of a description. Sounds pop to me and makes me want to spend more time with your music. Not sure about the breakdown after the first CH (I’d have to listen to it again and I will gladly do so) because when it broke down I had wanted it to dynamically stay up. But if you are hearing more production on this, then you might have a better idea for that section. I think the CH is very hooky… simple and hooky.
February 23, 2014