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Southern Man

Frank Renfordt

November 02, 2018

Genre: Bluegrass

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Don't take it too serious ....

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I appreciate your feedback!


3 Responses


Lee Myers

Frank,

What did work for me was your placement of the title as the last phrase in the chorus.  This appears to be in line with expectations of country music publishers.

The rest of the song,however, needs to be revised. Specifically, the structure needs to be tightened up—the verses are, in my opinion, too long.  For study purposes, you could look at songwriting books for guidance on structuring your song and you could also search You Tube to see how 2018 country songs are structured.

Regarding your lyric sheet, here is a link from NSAI with examples of lyric sheets and publisher tips for improvement:

http://www.nsaisandiego.com/lyric-sheet.html

Content-wise, it might help to remember that your song (with use of first-person “I”) is asking the audience to identify with the singer. Not likely that the audience will want to identify with a long-haired, big-bellied singer who drives an old Chevy and shoots at cats. 

You’ve got to make the singer look good to the female country audience members.

Keep writing and revising.

November 08, 2018

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Reid Yamamoto

Hi Frank,

I like it, and think some of your lyrics and melody are clever, humorous, and catchy.

Is that you playing the guitars, (or whatever it is), and singing on this worktape version?

I think Lee M. gave you some solid advice, and I am not an expert on country song structure.

Nice job!

November 09, 2018

No members have liked this comment.

Frank Renfordt

Thanks guys for your feedback. As said above: Don’t take it too serious, this one is more for fun.

November 09, 2018

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0

Lee Myers

Frank,

What did work for me was your placement of the title as the last phrase in the chorus.  This appears to be in line with expectations of country music publishers.

The rest of the song,however, needs to be revised. Specifically, the structure needs to be tightened up—the verses are, in my opinion, too long.  For study purposes, you could look at songwriting books for guidance on structuring your song and you could also search You Tube to see how 2018 country songs are structured.

Regarding your lyric sheet, here is a link from NSAI with examples of lyric sheets and publisher tips for improvement:

http://www.nsaisandiego.com/lyric-sheet.html

Content-wise, it might help to remember that your song (with use of first-person “I”) is asking the audience to identify with the singer. Not likely that the audience will want to identify with a long-haired, big-bellied singer who drives an old Chevy and shoots at cats. 

You’ve got to make the singer look good to the female country audience members.

Keep writing and revising.

November 08, 2018

0

Reid Yamamoto

Hi Frank,

I like it, and think some of your lyrics and melody are clever, humorous, and catchy.

Is that you playing the guitars, (or whatever it is), and singing on this worktape version?

I think Lee M. gave you some solid advice, and I am not an expert on country song structure.

Nice job!

November 09, 2018

0

Frank Renfordt

Thanks guys for your feedback. As said above: Don’t take it too serious, this one is more for fun.

November 09, 2018


G D
She looked like a cover girl with legs up to the moon
G
and I thought she‘s the answer to my prayers
D
at first we had some fun but i realized pretty soon
G
she plays a bad part in a Steven King nightmare
C G
It started with her hating my old Chevy
C G
then she complained about my belly
a D G
and she forced me into working out my abs
C
She said I'd need a shave
G
and that she doesn't feel save
D C G
when I'm aiming with my shotgun at her cats


C
I bore it for a while
G
till the day I thought I'd die
D
I flew the coop and quit the gym
e
let my hair grow again
C
no one is ever gonna change me
G D
I am what I'm meant to be
e D
I am what I am
G
a southern man

One day I was invited to her parents house
I cleaned my boots and dusted my old jeans
I said howdy ma’m howdy sir yeah I'm from the South
and tried hard to be friendly by all means
Her old man asked about my studies
and he talked about his Harvard buddies
while sipping sugar free english tea
I said I'm not a doctor
but I know to fix a tractor
and if you need a hand than count on me

I bore it for a while
till the day I thought I'd die
I flew the coop and quit the gym
let my hair grow again
No one is ever gonna change me
I am what I'm meant to be
I am what I am
A Southern Man

Now I'm hangin' on my front porch
with a six string in my hand
singing songs from old Dixieland

and I do this for a while
till the day I have to die
I praised the lord since then
he gave me freedom again
No one is ever gonna change me
I am what I'm meant to be
I am what I am
A Southern Man

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