This song is about the women characters in rock and roll songs.
Any and all feedback + or -
Hi Frank, thank you for the listen and very detailed feedback. I was thinking that I need to cut some of those R & R women out of the song, for the same reasons you mentioned.
Maybe we can listen to it in MV live, and you can tell me what you would do with it.
Best,
Reid
September 09, 2018
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Great concept here Reid! The chorus melodically could be stronger with phrasing different from the verse. The chorus words are wonderful in my opinion….just gotta get to the chorus a little faster from the verses…kinda too long…make that chorus stand out so it smacks us in the face with complete euphoria! Great start:)
September 24, 2018
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Hi Dori, Thank you for listening and for your great feedback. I will have to restructure the chord progression for the verses, so I can smack listeners in the face faster!
“The chorus melodically could be stronger with phrasing different from the verse” Frank R. said the same thing, and I’m not sure how to do this, because to my ear and analyzing the notes, the chorus is quite a bit different than the verses melodically. As far as phrasing to make it contrast more, I can play around with that, but i may need to enlist the help of a real vocalist who also understands songwriting, because the chorus is so ingrained in my brain.
I love your choice of words,“smack listeners in the face faster!” and you are obviously a wordsmith!
Thank you for your time and feedback.
September 24, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
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Rock and Roll Women
Whatever happened to Mustang Sally?
Did she ever get her feet on the ground?
How 'bout that other one that Long Tall Sally?
Is she still around?
Rosanna's been away for all these years,
did she ever meet him all the way?
Did Angie's clouds ever disappear?
Did Prudence ever come out to play?
What about Josie did she ever come home?
Did the neighbors throw a party she could call her own?
Chorus:
Those Rock and Roll Women will live on and on.
They live forever in our favorite songs.
Those Rock and Roll Women will never get old.
They live in the riffs and the tales they told.
Did they ever hang a name on Ruby Tuesday?
Does Rhiannon ride her broom in the night?
Is Lucy still in the sky with her diamonds?
Roxanne still set out her light?
Is Badge still wandering around in the park,
her kid still married to Mabel?
Is she out there with the swans who live in the park?
Is Layla still young and able?
What about Rita the Meter Maid,
is she still writing tickets if you haven't paid?
Chorus
Guitar Solo
Miss Molly did you ever hear your mama call?
Is Sharona still hot and wild?
Is Peggy Sue still a pretty gal at all?
Did Sara ever crack a smile?
Hey Jude are you makin' a sad song better?
Is Lola makin' men out of boys?
Does she drink champagne like it's Cherry Cola?
That drink she enjoys.
What about Venus, is she still on fire?
Is Sexy Sadie still a big fat liar?
Chorus and outro
1
Hi Reid, love the idea of the song and also like the guitar riff in the verse. I wish the chorus would be more catchy and would stand out more (try with longer notes). You enumerate the different names in the verses, perhaps I would do without them in the pre-chorus section and try to make a better transition to the hook here. Also I would halfen the second and third verse to come more quickly to the chorus again. These are only my personal thought while listening to your song - remember I’m not a professional.
September 09, 2018
0
Hi Frank, thank you for the listen and very detailed feedback. I was thinking that I need to cut some of those R & R women out of the song, for the same reasons you mentioned.
Maybe we can listen to it in MV live, and you can tell me what you would do with it.
Best,
Reid
September 09, 2018
0
Great concept here Reid! The chorus melodically could be stronger with phrasing different from the verse. The chorus words are wonderful in my opinion….just gotta get to the chorus a little faster from the verses…kinda too long…make that chorus stand out so it smacks us in the face with complete euphoria! Great start:)
September 24, 2018
0
Hi Dori, Thank you for listening and for your great feedback. I will have to restructure the chord progression for the verses, so I can smack listeners in the face faster!
“The chorus melodically could be stronger with phrasing different from the verse” Frank R. said the same thing, and I’m not sure how to do this, because to my ear and analyzing the notes, the chorus is quite a bit different than the verses melodically. As far as phrasing to make it contrast more, I can play around with that, but i may need to enlist the help of a real vocalist who also understands songwriting, because the chorus is so ingrained in my brain.
I love your choice of words,“smack listeners in the face faster!” and you are obviously a wordsmith!
Thank you for your time and feedback.
September 24, 2018
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Frank Renfordt
Hi Reid, love the idea of the song and also like the guitar riff in the verse. I wish the chorus would be more catchy and would stand out more (try with longer notes). You enumerate the different names in the verses, perhaps I would do without them in the pre-chorus section and try to make a better transition to the hook here. Also I would halfen the second and third verse to come more quickly to the chorus again. These are only my personal thought while listening to your song - remember I’m not a professional.
September 09, 2018