August 13, 2018
Genre: Rock
This song was written for my wife and was played in demo form as the first dance at our wedding.
I would love some feedback to song structure
High Allen, the song has a nice feel and a catchy chorus. It sounds like an 80th song - maybe it is?
August 14, 2018
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Hi Allen, nice song, and I really like your instrument tracks, esp. guitar, your melody line and BGV’s. You have one of those amazing voices in the higher ranges, and I bet you can sing like those rock and roll singers I grew up listening to.
I love the changes in the bridge and your guitar solo! Reminds me of Tom Scholz, lead guitarist from a popular band a couple decades ago, called Boston.
I think you executed this track well and delivered your song effectively.
August 16, 2018
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When I look into your eyes, I can see forever, no where to hide,
I can hear your heart beat time, to the sound of our love, yours and mine
Pre-Chorus
Was the 4th of July, in the heat of the night,
I could no more deny, I was caught up in your love
Chorus
Caught in your love
Caught in your love Once again
‘Cross some rocky paths we’ve climbed, but on the strength of our love, we’ve survived,
I would never trade away, all the moments we’ve had, the hope we’ve saved
Pre-Chorus
You are one of a kind, you are pure delight,
Just to look in your eyes, and I’m caught up in your love
Chorus
Caught in your love
Caught in your love Once again
Bridge
I never felt so more alive, till you walked into my life,
I prayed for love so many years, to receive only tears,
With the passing of each day, love grows stronger each new phase,
And now at last my dreams come true, the grace of God delivered you
Chorus
Caught in your love
Caught in your love Once again
Caught in your love
Caught in your love
There’s no turning back from you, I am caught up in to you
0
Both musically and lyrically, this seems pretty simplistic:
LYRICS:
“I look into your eyes” [several times]
“I can hear your heart beat”
“I was caught up in your love”
[in other words, too many cliched phrases]
MUSIC (Chords)
C CM7 Am C/G F G
Am C/G F G
[in other words, very over-used set of chord changes]
I guess I’m simply saying, “don’t settle for the first set of words and chord changes that come to mind”—in other words, try to learn more about the “craft/skill” of songwriting. As a very small example, instead of the CM7 chord in the verse, possibly look at substituting an Em7. Lyrically, instead of “hear your heart beat,” possibly think in terms of something like “You walk in the door, and my heart stops beating/Joy fills the air/the room stops” (in other words, try to express your emotions differently than is usually the case—you want the listener to see and feel your situation in a way they never have before).
Hope this makes sense, and hope it helps in some small way. Best of luck!
August 13, 2018
0
High Allen, the song has a nice feel and a catchy chorus. It sounds like an 80th song - maybe it is?
August 14, 2018
0
Hi Allen, nice song, and I really like your instrument tracks, esp. guitar, your melody line and BGV’s. You have one of those amazing voices in the higher ranges, and I bet you can sing like those rock and roll singers I grew up listening to.
I love the changes in the bridge and your guitar solo! Reminds me of Tom Scholz, lead guitarist from a popular band a couple decades ago, called Boston.
I think you executed this track well and delivered your song effectively.
August 16, 2018
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Bob Abner
Both musically and lyrically, this seems pretty simplistic:
LYRICS:
“I look into your eyes” [several times]
“I can hear your heart beat”
“I was caught up in your love”
[in other words, too many cliched phrases]
MUSIC (Chords)
C CM7 Am C/G F G
Am C/G F G
[in other words, very over-used set of chord changes]
I guess I’m simply saying, “don’t settle for the first set of words and chord changes that come to mind”—in other words, try to learn more about the “craft/skill” of songwriting. As a very small example, instead of the CM7 chord in the verse, possibly look at substituting an Em7. Lyrically, instead of “hear your heart beat,” possibly think in terms of something like “You walk in the door, and my heart stops beating/Joy fills the air/the room stops” (in other words, try to express your emotions differently than is usually the case—you want the listener to see and feel your situation in a way they never have before).
Hope this makes sense, and hope it helps in some small way. Best of luck!
August 13, 2018
No members have liked this comment.