About someone having a hard time in life, but too proud to ask for help.
If the song moves you or if you can relate to it.
Hi Bob,
I hear you. This wasn’t the most innovative song harmonically or musically. I have another version of it that is much more interesting I think.
Yes, I sing all my initial demos, and my vocals are not always on key, and I don’t bother to use autotune, because I know my producer and vocalist will nail it.
Thank you for the listen and your feedback.
Best,
Reidmoto
July 26, 2018
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Hi Reid, the song has great message! Musically the chorus could stand out a bit more.
August 02, 2018
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Hi Frank,
Thank you for the listen and feedback. We are working on another completely different and somewhat darker version of the song, and will make it a point to take the chorus to the next level to contrast with the darker sounding verses.
August 03, 2018
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I agree the message here is very positive. Reid, that chorus is a gem in the rough. Regarding the “You can’t save yourself” please try holding that phrase out longer and melody could be higher to set it apart from the verse, creating greater contrast…honestly, make it memorable because it’s the definite hook that would be a diamond hook if it was only hookier! Lol! Seriously though stray away from the verse phrasing and predictability and use the chorus to surprise us all. This is a dynamic song in the making! Good work, good luck:)
August 11, 2018
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Hi Dori, Thank you for your very detailed and great feedback. I’m having one of the guys who works on my songs, who is a pro vocalist and great arranger (Jonathan Hayes), do a version 2.0 which has a totally different feel and more contrast between verses and choruses. If you’re interested: https://soundcloud.com/reidmoto/you-cant-save-yourself-jonathanhayes-scratch-4-21-18?in=reidmoto/sets/reidmotos-original-songs
LOL on “definite hook, diamond hook, if only it were hookier!”
Now that I’ve heard all the feedback and gone back to listen to my first version, I totally agree that the phrasing and maybe melody, chord changes need to be reworked.
Thank you again Dori!
August 15, 2018
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Reid,
I just listened to the updated version and wow sounds very cool!! Writing is hard enough but it’s the rewrites that take work and obviously you have been working very hard…great job, congrats!
August 15, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
Hi Dori, coming from a great writer and killer vocalist like you, I’m glad you feel the song is headed in the right direction now.
It is the rewrites after our initial demos that turns a good idea, into a potentially great song.
I love your writing and voice, and thank you for giving me solid feedback.
August 15, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
Liking the intro. Liking the melody. Definitely hearing those influences you mentioned in your bio. Very relatable too, an important message. Sometimes asking for help is the most difficult thing to do. I like the bridge the best but I’m a huge fan of bridges. Bridges are the hardest things for me to write but they really unify all of the parts of the song and help unveil the meaning of the song.. I like the guitar solo as well.
August 29, 2018
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Hi Haydee, thank you for taking the time to give the song a listen, and for your detailed feedback. I too, used to struggle with bridges, but I agree, I’m a huge fan of great bridges that provide a great transition from the verse/chorus structure and mood.
I will have a real guitar player record the solo, but thanks!
Dori W. gave me some great feedback on variation of melody between verse and chorus…and already working on it with my great vocalist and arranger Jonathan Hayes: https://soundcloud.com/reidmoto/you-cant-save-yourself-jonathanhayes-scratch-4-21-18?in=reidmoto/sets/reidmotos-original-songs
If you’re interested to see where the song is heading.
Thank you again for your time and feedback!
August 29, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
You Can't Save Yourself
You find yourself in a hard place,
not where you want to be.
Got your game face on,
You just don't want us to see.
You say you can do it alone.
That's how you've always survived
So used to bein' on your own,
livin' but hardly alive.
Chorus
You can't save yourself,
even the mighty need a little help.
You can't save yourself,
Lay down your guard
and shove your pride on the shelf.
You say we've never been in your shoes,
how could we know how it feels?
You know we don't want to intrude,
but it looks like you're spinning your wheels.
You keep going under for cover,
but there's nowhere to hide.
Solitude's a real sad lover.
What a lonely ride.
Chorus 2
You're only weak when you can't let go.
You put on a smile, but your sadness shows.
Bridge with guitar solo
You know we're all standing by,
but we're not sure what you need.
Maybe just a shoulder to cry on,
We hate to watch you bleed.
Chorus 5x and outro
0
Musically predictable (especially chord sequences)—vocal intonation on bridge a little iffy—best of luck!
July 26, 2018
0
Hi Bob,
I hear you. This wasn’t the most innovative song harmonically or musically. I have another version of it that is much more interesting I think.
Yes, I sing all my initial demos, and my vocals are not always on key, and I don’t bother to use autotune, because I know my producer and vocalist will nail it.
Thank you for the listen and your feedback.
Best,
Reidmoto
July 26, 2018
0
Hi Reid, the song has great message! Musically the chorus could stand out a bit more.
August 02, 2018
0
Hi Frank,
Thank you for the listen and feedback. We are working on another completely different and somewhat darker version of the song, and will make it a point to take the chorus to the next level to contrast with the darker sounding verses.
August 03, 2018
0
I agree the message here is very positive. Reid, that chorus is a gem in the rough. Regarding the “You can’t save yourself” please try holding that phrase out longer and melody could be higher to set it apart from the verse, creating greater contrast…honestly, make it memorable because it’s the definite hook that would be a diamond hook if it was only hookier! Lol! Seriously though stray away from the verse phrasing and predictability and use the chorus to surprise us all. This is a dynamic song in the making! Good work, good luck:)
August 11, 2018
0
Hi Dori, Thank you for your very detailed and great feedback. I’m having one of the guys who works on my songs, who is a pro vocalist and great arranger (Jonathan Hayes), do a version 2.0 which has a totally different feel and more contrast between verses and choruses. If you’re interested: https://soundcloud.com/reidmoto/you-cant-save-yourself-jonathanhayes-scratch-4-21-18?in=reidmoto/sets/reidmotos-original-songs
LOL on “definite hook, diamond hook, if only it were hookier!”
Now that I’ve heard all the feedback and gone back to listen to my first version, I totally agree that the phrasing and maybe melody, chord changes need to be reworked.
Thank you again Dori!
August 15, 2018
0
Reid,
I just listened to the updated version and wow sounds very cool!! Writing is hard enough but it’s the rewrites that take work and obviously you have been working very hard…great job, congrats!
August 15, 2018
0
Hi Dori, coming from a great writer and killer vocalist like you, I’m glad you feel the song is headed in the right direction now.
It is the rewrites after our initial demos that turns a good idea, into a potentially great song.
I love your writing and voice, and thank you for giving me solid feedback.
August 15, 2018
0
Liking the intro. Liking the melody. Definitely hearing those influences you mentioned in your bio. Very relatable too, an important message. Sometimes asking for help is the most difficult thing to do. I like the bridge the best but I’m a huge fan of bridges. Bridges are the hardest things for me to write but they really unify all of the parts of the song and help unveil the meaning of the song.. I like the guitar solo as well.
August 29, 2018
0
Hi Haydee, thank you for taking the time to give the song a listen, and for your detailed feedback. I too, used to struggle with bridges, but I agree, I’m a huge fan of great bridges that provide a great transition from the verse/chorus structure and mood.
I will have a real guitar player record the solo, but thanks!
Dori W. gave me some great feedback on variation of melody between verse and chorus…and already working on it with my great vocalist and arranger Jonathan Hayes: https://soundcloud.com/reidmoto/you-cant-save-yourself-jonathanhayes-scratch-4-21-18?in=reidmoto/sets/reidmotos-original-songs
If you’re interested to see where the song is heading.
Thank you again for your time and feedback!
August 29, 2018
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Bob Abner
Musically predictable (especially chord sequences)—vocal intonation on bridge a little iffy—best of luck!
July 26, 2018
No members have liked this comment.