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You Can’t Save Yourself

Reid Yamamoto

July 24, 2018

Genre: Pop

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Views: 118

Responses: 8




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About This Song


About someone having a hard time in life, but too proud to ask for help.

Feedback Requested


If the song moves you or if you can relate to it.


8 Responses


Bob Abner

Musically predictable (especially chord sequences)—vocal intonation on bridge a little iffy—best of luck!

July 26, 2018

No members have liked this comment.

Reid Yamamoto

Hi Bob,

I hear you. This wasn’t the most innovative song harmonically or musically. I have another version of it that is much more interesting I think.

Yes, I sing all my initial demos, and my vocals are not always on key, and I don’t bother to use autotune, because I know my producer and vocalist will nail it.

Thank you for the listen and your feedback.

Best,

Reidmoto

July 26, 2018

No members have liked this comment.

Frank Renfordt

Hi Reid, the song has great message! Musically the chorus could stand out a bit more.

August 02, 2018

No members have liked this comment.

Reid Yamamoto

Hi Frank,

Thank you for the listen and feedback. We are working on another completely different and somewhat darker version of the song, and will make it a point to take the chorus to the next level to contrast with the darker sounding verses.

August 03, 2018

No members have liked this comment.

Dori Weaver

I agree the message here is very positive.  Reid, that chorus is a gem in the rough.  Regarding the “You can’t save yourself” please try holding that phrase out longer and melody could be higher to set it apart from the verse, creating greater contrast…honestly, make it memorable because it’s the definite hook that would be a diamond hook if it was only hookier!  Lol!  Seriously though stray away from the verse phrasing and predictability and use the chorus to surprise us all.  This is a dynamic song in the making!  Good work, good luck:)

August 11, 2018

No members have liked this comment.

Reid Yamamoto

Hi Dori, Thank you for your very detailed and great feedback. I’m having one of the guys who works on my songs, who is a pro vocalist and great arranger (Jonathan Hayes), do a version 2.0 which has a totally different feel and more contrast between verses and choruses. If you’re interested: https://soundcloud.com/reidmoto/you-cant-save-yourself-jonathanhayes-scratch-4-21-18?in=reidmoto/sets/reidmotos-original-songs

LOL on “definite hook, diamond hook, if only it were hookier!”

Now that I’ve heard all the feedback and gone back to listen to my first version, I totally agree that the phrasing and maybe melody, chord changes need to be reworked.

Thank you again Dori!

August 15, 2018

No members have liked this comment.

Dori Weaver

Reid,
I just listened to the updated version and wow sounds very cool!!  Writing is hard enough but it’s the rewrites that take work and obviously you have been working very hard…great job, congrats!

August 15, 2018

No members have liked this comment.

Reid Yamamoto

Hi Dori, coming from a great writer and killer vocalist like you, I’m glad you feel the song is headed in the right direction now.

It is the rewrites after our initial demos that turns a good idea, into a potentially great song.

I love your writing and voice, and thank you for giving me solid feedback.

August 15, 2018

No members have liked this comment.


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0

Bob Abner

Musically predictable (especially chord sequences)—vocal intonation on bridge a little iffy—best of luck!

July 26, 2018

0

Reid Yamamoto

Hi Bob,

I hear you. This wasn’t the most innovative song harmonically or musically. I have another version of it that is much more interesting I think.

Yes, I sing all my initial demos, and my vocals are not always on key, and I don’t bother to use autotune, because I know my producer and vocalist will nail it.

Thank you for the listen and your feedback.

Best,

Reidmoto

July 26, 2018

0

Frank Renfordt

Hi Reid, the song has great message! Musically the chorus could stand out a bit more.

August 02, 2018

0

Reid Yamamoto

Hi Frank,

Thank you for the listen and feedback. We are working on another completely different and somewhat darker version of the song, and will make it a point to take the chorus to the next level to contrast with the darker sounding verses.

August 03, 2018

0

Dori Weaver

I agree the message here is very positive.  Reid, that chorus is a gem in the rough.  Regarding the “You can’t save yourself” please try holding that phrase out longer and melody could be higher to set it apart from the verse, creating greater contrast…honestly, make it memorable because it’s the definite hook that would be a diamond hook if it was only hookier!  Lol!  Seriously though stray away from the verse phrasing and predictability and use the chorus to surprise us all.  This is a dynamic song in the making!  Good work, good luck:)

August 11, 2018

0

Reid Yamamoto

Hi Dori, Thank you for your very detailed and great feedback. I’m having one of the guys who works on my songs, who is a pro vocalist and great arranger (Jonathan Hayes), do a version 2.0 which has a totally different feel and more contrast between verses and choruses. If you’re interested: https://soundcloud.com/reidmoto/you-cant-save-yourself-jonathanhayes-scratch-4-21-18?in=reidmoto/sets/reidmotos-original-songs

LOL on “definite hook, diamond hook, if only it were hookier!”

Now that I’ve heard all the feedback and gone back to listen to my first version, I totally agree that the phrasing and maybe melody, chord changes need to be reworked.

Thank you again Dori!

August 15, 2018

0

Dori Weaver

Reid,
I just listened to the updated version and wow sounds very cool!!  Writing is hard enough but it’s the rewrites that take work and obviously you have been working very hard…great job, congrats!

August 15, 2018

0

Reid Yamamoto

Hi Dori, coming from a great writer and killer vocalist like you, I’m glad you feel the song is headed in the right direction now.

It is the rewrites after our initial demos that turns a good idea, into a potentially great song.

I love your writing and voice, and thank you for giving me solid feedback.

August 15, 2018


You Can’t Save Yourself

Written by Reid Yamamoto

You Can't Save Yourself

You find yourself in a hard place,
not where you want to be.
Got your game face on,
You just don't want us to see.

You say you can do it alone.
That's how you've always survived
So used to bein' on your own,
livin' but hardly alive.

Chorus

You can't save yourself,
even the mighty need a little help.
You can't save yourself,
Lay down your guard
and shove your pride on the shelf.

You say we've never been in your shoes,
how could we know how it feels?
You know we don't want to intrude,
but it looks like you're spinning your wheels.

You keep going under for cover,
but there's nowhere to hide.
Solitude's a real sad lover.
What a lonely ride.

Chorus 2

You're only weak when you can't let go.
You put on a smile, but your sadness shows.

Bridge with guitar solo

You know we're all standing by,
but we're not sure what you need.
Maybe just a shoulder to cry on,
We hate to watch you bleed.

Chorus 5x and outro

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