This song is to give comfort to people who have suffered the loss of a loved one, with the hope that we will reunite once again in the Ever After.
I would like to know if people who give it a listen are feeling the message of the song, and if the lyrics, music - melody, harmony, arrangement work together effectively to convey the message.
Hi Bob,
Thank you for the listen, and for your feedback.
You make a good point, and I understand exactly what you mean.
The main goal or message I wanted to give to people who have lost a loved one, is one of hope.
Hence the use of major chords vs. minor, upbeat arrangement, etc.
Thank you for your feedback.
Best,
Reidmoto
July 26, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
Hi Reid,
Totally agree with Bob, nice tune, nice lyrics, but they don’t match.
August 02, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
Hi Frank,
Thank you for the listen and the feedback. I’ll take that into consideration as we finalize the arrangement.
Best,
Reid
August 03, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
Reid-I love the idea here, it feels like a song of closure, after the grieving process has been gone through.
One spot that stood out that I think has a lot of potential, but could stand a little tweaking is this line: “Like a harp with a string out of tune,
our lives re-arranged.”
It doesn’t quite ‘land’ with me yet as I’m not quite connecting the harp with rearrangement of lives.
Anyway, great work; it would sure be the kind of song I’d want people listening to while they remembered me after I was gone.
August 10, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
Hi Guy, thank you for the listen, and thank you for your feedback What you said as far as being a song of closure was one of the things/emotions I was aiming for, but my main goal and theme was to give people who have lost a loved one hope.
I think that regardless of a person’s religious beliefs or faith, that everyone on this Earth would like to feel there is hope in reuniting with their loved ones in the “Ever After.”
Now that you pointed it out, I think that line of the verse is weak too, and could be improved as you said to deliver more punch. The idea, and why I used, “Like a harp with a string out of tune….” is because I hate playing an out of tune instrument, the analogy being, that after our loved one passed on, everything was out of tune and harmony.
Thank you for a pro-level songwriter analysis!
Reid
August 12, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
I seriously would love to hear this slowed down a bit with production that gives it more soul and gravity. I LOVE some of the lyrics. The string out of tune? Loud silence? Seriously great lyrics with substance and very on point. This perfectly describes how I felt losing my sis.
August 29, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
Hi Haydee, thank you for your listen and feedback, and I’m glad you related to the message of the song, and I’m sorry you lost your sis.
I wrote the song after my maternal grandmother passed away, and she was the matriarch of our family in many ways. She was a very successful real estate investor in Hawaii, and she made it happen on a waitress and cabdriver (my grandfather) salaries.
Thank you for your kind words on the lyrics.
I will mess with the tempo and slow it down and see how it sounds.
Thank you again for your time and feedback!
August 29, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
0
Reid, I thought the production seemed pretty solid, nice job on vocals—it seemed sort of a cross between pop and country—the problem I had with your song was that lyrically it was about some fairly heavy subject matter, but musically it seemed “light and fluffy” (in other words I felt like the lyrics and the music were pulling me in slightly different directions). Best wishes in all your musical endeavors!!!
July 26, 2018
0
Hi Bob,
Thank you for the listen, and for your feedback.
You make a good point, and I understand exactly what you mean.
The main goal or message I wanted to give to people who have lost a loved one, is one of hope.
Hence the use of major chords vs. minor, upbeat arrangement, etc.
Thank you for your feedback.
Best,
Reidmoto
July 26, 2018
0
Hi Reid,
Totally agree with Bob, nice tune, nice lyrics, but they don’t match.
August 02, 2018
0
Hi Frank,
Thank you for the listen and the feedback. I’ll take that into consideration as we finalize the arrangement.
Best,
Reid
August 03, 2018
0
Reid-I love the idea here, it feels like a song of closure, after the grieving process has been gone through.
One spot that stood out that I think has a lot of potential, but could stand a little tweaking is this line: “Like a harp with a string out of tune,
our lives re-arranged.”
It doesn’t quite ‘land’ with me yet as I’m not quite connecting the harp with rearrangement of lives.
Anyway, great work; it would sure be the kind of song I’d want people listening to while they remembered me after I was gone.
August 10, 2018
0
Hi Guy, thank you for the listen, and thank you for your feedback What you said as far as being a song of closure was one of the things/emotions I was aiming for, but my main goal and theme was to give people who have lost a loved one hope.
I think that regardless of a person’s religious beliefs or faith, that everyone on this Earth would like to feel there is hope in reuniting with their loved ones in the “Ever After.”
Now that you pointed it out, I think that line of the verse is weak too, and could be improved as you said to deliver more punch. The idea, and why I used, “Like a harp with a string out of tune….” is because I hate playing an out of tune instrument, the analogy being, that after our loved one passed on, everything was out of tune and harmony.
Thank you for a pro-level songwriter analysis!
Reid
August 12, 2018
0
I seriously would love to hear this slowed down a bit with production that gives it more soul and gravity. I LOVE some of the lyrics. The string out of tune? Loud silence? Seriously great lyrics with substance and very on point. This perfectly describes how I felt losing my sis.
August 29, 2018
0
Hi Haydee, thank you for your listen and feedback, and I’m glad you related to the message of the song, and I’m sorry you lost your sis.
I wrote the song after my maternal grandmother passed away, and she was the matriarch of our family in many ways. She was a very successful real estate investor in Hawaii, and she made it happen on a waitress and cabdriver (my grandfather) salaries.
Thank you for your kind words on the lyrics.
I will mess with the tempo and slow it down and see how it sounds.
Thank you again for your time and feedback!
August 29, 2018
The World's Not The Same
You left us a little too soon,
and everything changed.
Like a harp with a string out of tune,
our lives re-arranged.
You left us with memories,
treasures to hold dear.
I know that everyone feels you,
Feels you are near.
Chorus 1
You know the world's not the same without you.
It won't ever be the same without you.
But we'll see your smile,
and hear your laughter,
when we see you again,
in the ever-after.
There's a loud silence now,
but we still hear your voice.
Maybe that's why God wants us,
to live and rejoice.
We know what you'd want us to do,
So we keep on keepin' on.
You told us to never stay blue,
when you are gone.
Repeat Chorus
Bridge: Ooh's and Aaahs
Guitar solo
Repeat verse 1
Repeat Chorus 3x and outro
0
Bob Abner
Reid, I thought the production seemed pretty solid, nice job on vocals—it seemed sort of a cross between pop and country—the problem I had with your song was that lyrically it was about some fairly heavy subject matter, but musically it seemed “light and fluffy” (in other words I felt like the lyrics and the music were pulling me in slightly different directions). Best wishes in all your musical endeavors!!!
July 26, 2018
No members have liked this comment.