This is one of those “story songs,” the kind of story that almost everyone can relate to. We all make a few wrong turns in life -- I believe God always knows how to help us get back on the right path, if we just let Him.
Feedback: feel free to give whatever feedback, criticism, encouragement, suggestions, etc., that come to mind. If nothing else, mention whether you liked it or not (and possibly why you liked/didn't like it).
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I really like this song, and it has a very nice feel, melody and piano arrangement. I hear what you can do when you have a solid musical background, and strong foundation in harmony/theory.
I think the way you chose to harmonize it, sounds great!
August 24, 2018
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Reid, oonce again, thanks for the compliments, and I’m glad you liked it!!!
August 24, 2018
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I tend to agree with Frank that the chorus melody could stand out more from the verses. I would love to write a new melody (privately) for the chorus to make it more distinct and maybe tweak the lyrics a bit to give the chorus a rhyme ending. My new chorus melody would likely have a slightly different tempo too. You’ve presented a lengthy story here Bob, but it’s a good one for you’ve woven it quite well. Good work.
November 01, 2018
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Myrna, thanks for the listen, the compliments and the suggestions. And hope your Thanksgiving is going well, and have a wonderful Christmas!
November 23, 2018
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Thanks Bob for the feedback on my songs. I listen to this tune and thought it has a very catchy hook. One suggestion i have is at the end instead of saying we need a God, say we got a God who lets us start all over again. Because God is always there. Just something I would say instead. But I really like the feel of this. I would maybe speed it up just a tad.
September 13, 2019
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VERSE
She packs up her dreams in a cardboard box
Over on the couch, there’s an old pair of socks
Then she turns off the lights, and she turns all the locks
Once again, she starts all over again
VERSE
Not much money, not too much hope,
A wrinkled-up map, and a carton of smokes,
She wonders how she got here, while she runs out of rope
She’d like to start, start all over again,
CHORUS
She thinks of her family, when she was just a girl
With freckles on her face, and her hair in a curl
She thinks of a small house, a little church down the street
(But) That was long ago, and life’s got her beat down
VERSE
She offers up a small prayer, as she heads down the road,
How nice if a small prayer, could ease a heavy load
She needs a little blessing, though nothing’s been owed
She needs to start, start all over again
She needs a God, who’ll let her start all over again
VERSE (Sax Solo)
VERSE
God sees the fault lines, and what she’s become
Sees when she’s a princess, sees when she’s a bum
He hears when her heart breaks, He feels when she’s numb
And He can help her start all over again
CHORUS
She thinks of her family, when she was just a girl
With freckles on her face, and her hair in a curl
She thinks of a small house, a little church down the street
That was long ago, but she doesn’t have to stay beat down
VERSE
We’re all a little beat down, sometimes incomplete
A little outdated, a little obsolete
We need someone to hold us when we suffer defeat
We need a God, who’ll let us start all over again
We need a God, who loves in spite of our sin
I need a God, You need a God, yes, you do, We all need a God, a loving God
We need a God who’ll help us start all over again.
0
Hey Bob, I am sorry to say this, but for me the whole song drags. The music as well as the lyric. Also the chorus doesn’t sound like a chorus, it’s more like a bridge, you need a bridge only once. I don’t know if you need a chorus at all, because you have a refrain. Maybe you can try to increase the tempo a bit and shorten the song.
July 24, 2018
0
I really like this song, and it has a very nice feel, melody and piano arrangement. I hear what you can do when you have a solid musical background, and strong foundation in harmony/theory.
I think the way you chose to harmonize it, sounds great!
August 24, 2018
0
Reid, oonce again, thanks for the compliments, and I’m glad you liked it!!!
August 24, 2018
0
I tend to agree with Frank that the chorus melody could stand out more from the verses. I would love to write a new melody (privately) for the chorus to make it more distinct and maybe tweak the lyrics a bit to give the chorus a rhyme ending. My new chorus melody would likely have a slightly different tempo too. You’ve presented a lengthy story here Bob, but it’s a good one for you’ve woven it quite well. Good work.
November 01, 2018
0
Myrna, thanks for the listen, the compliments and the suggestions. And hope your Thanksgiving is going well, and have a wonderful Christmas!
November 23, 2018
0
Thanks Bob for the feedback on my songs. I listen to this tune and thought it has a very catchy hook. One suggestion i have is at the end instead of saying we need a God, say we got a God who lets us start all over again. Because God is always there. Just something I would say instead. But I really like the feel of this. I would maybe speed it up just a tad.
September 13, 2019
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Frank Renfordt
Hey Bob, I am sorry to say this, but for me the whole song drags. The music as well as the lyric. Also the chorus doesn’t sound like a chorus, it’s more like a bridge, you need a bridge only once. I don’t know if you need a chorus at all, because you have a refrain. Maybe you can try to increase the tempo a bit and shorten the song.
July 24, 2018
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