Well she ain't good lookin'
But she sure ain't shy
The gal's got all the parts and pieces
That you need to get by
Boy, why the hesitation, trepidation
What's there to fear
Truth to be told
I like the view from the rear
Between any two people
Runs a cold lonely chasm
Gal like that could heat things up
With her enthusiasm
So take it or leave it
But don't pretend you don't need it boy
What's the matter with you?

Now Susie's not a cutie
Runway model ain't her job
Those teeth could stand some fencin'
And her nose could use a bob
You think that stops a heart from beatin', boy
The heart don't hold back
They'll hear her three blocks over
If she slips you in the sack
Between any two people
There's a dark lonely chasm
Why not give that thing a jump
She's got enthusiasm
You can take it or leave it
But I'm thinkin' you need it, boy
What's the matter with you?

Little Debbie's got an appetite
That nothing seems to sate
Her figure shows off everything
She sucks up from her plate
Breakfast, lunch and dinner
Leave her famished to the core
I shouldn't have to tell you
What she's really hungry for
Between any two people
There's that deep lonely chasm
She could fill it to the brim
With her enthusiasm
So take it or leave it
But you ought'a believe it, boy
What's the matter with you?

Now Judy's got a beauty mark
Looks like a lobster claw
There's a three alarm fire hazard
Stuffed down Wendy's Wonder Bra
Lisa's locked up in the ladies'
Trying to get a zit to pop
While Patty's in a panic
'Bout her little muffin top
Between any two people
There'll be shit to get over
Be some weevils in the cotton
Some bees in your clover
You can take it or leave it
But we all kind of need it, boy
What's the matter with you?

Well she ain't good lookin'
But she sure ain't shy
The gal's got all the parts and pieces
That you need to get by
Why the hesitation, trepidation
Nothing to fear
Truth to be told
I love the view from the rear
Between any two people
There's that deep, lonely chasm
Why not give the thing a jump
She's got enthusiasm
You can take it or leave it
But you ought to believe it, boy
What's the matter with you?

Yeah, you can take it or leave it
But we all kind of need it, boy
What's the matter with you?