Singer has been on the road forever and finally comes home for Mother's Day.
Thanks for the feedback. It was interesting that you pointed out that you thought the line “she had no skills” referred to the mother. At that point in the song I was still referring to a baby. Maybe I should have inserted the word “I” to make it clearer. That’s why feedback is important, other’s see things we don’t. I listend to your three songs and will comment. Please listen to my (Larry Psl) other 2 songs posted, one is about a relationship that worked, the other is a high energy “motivational” rock song.
Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment.
April 21, 2018
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Okay, so I listened to it again. Last time I listened to it twice, and I don’t know why I thought you were referring to your mom as having “no skills”. I guess perhaps because it is usually assumed that babies don’t have any skills except for being completely adorable
April 23, 2018
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I still agree with previous thoughts, it is a truly lovely song but needs a little lyrical refinement and some more variation in melody or intensity somewhere, though it is overall more sweet and soothing which is appropriate given that it is about mothers. It just depends on if this is is a personal song or song you wish to put out there commercially. If it’s personal, it’s just right, but if it’s also for commercial purposes, maybe shorten and tighten it up a bit. It is time to celebrate marriages, parenting, and children in music. It’s time to build up the family unit which is being relentlessly attacked and disparaged. You have the blessed advantage of having parents that really loved you and directed you so you have something to contribute to this discussion.
April 23, 2018
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Sorry for the many messages. I put in emojis and it cut my feedback up.
April 23, 2018
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Very sweet song Larry! I love many of your lines/lyrics, and not going to take the time to copy and paste, but great writing! I agree with Haydee, there has to be more variation in melody and harmony/chords/dynamics/intensity during the chorus, IMHO, like you made the changes to the bridge. But very sweet song overall, and your lyrics and message are killer!
August 27, 2018
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A MOTHER’S SPECIAL DAY By Larry Palaszynski ©2017 (716-675-8258)
Larry@ValueFindersInc.com
She was my first love, before I knew what love was,
She was my first love before I could talk,
I had no money, skills, couldn’t to do anything,
She still treated me like a king, doing everything,
Dad built our house, mom built our home,
Dad made me a man, but mom made me a gentleman
Each day is a mother’s special day, every day is a mother’s day
She gave me so much, so many things and all for free,
She was the strong one, a toughness that would never flee
Mom always words of wisdom which never seem to stop
Like an idle mind is a devil’s workshop
Dad built our house, mom built our home,
Dad made me a man, but mom made me a gentleman
She kept me busy pay’n for guitar lessons sayin,
Paying for scales is better than the cost of jails,
She knows how I feel, it’s time for me to show it,
Always missed Mother’s Day, this time I have to visit
Dad built our house, mom built our home,
Dad made me a man, but mom made me a gentleman
Over time sent many gifts, this gift would be of time,
Opening the porch door was stepping back in time,
The smell of her just baked food in the air,
In the corner my old practice chair was still there,
Dad built our house, mom built our home,
Dad made me a man, but mom made me a gentleman
She was always giving, keeping things stable and familiar,
This was her gift for me, one I didn’t know I yearned for,
Not a day goes, by without influences from her,
Not a day goes, that I don’t miss her
Daddy built our house, mom built our home,
Dad made me a man, but mom made me a gentleman
Each day is a mother’s special day, every day is a mother’s day
0
So there was a lot of really sweet sentiments here. Surely your mom would love this song. I like the line, “Dad built a house, mom made a home”.
One thing a lot of women will take issue with is saying she had no skills. It sounds like she cooked and taught you a lot. Some women will take issue with it but I don’t because it seems like you mean she has skills but the world doesn’t acknowledge them. Also, the melody needs a little more oomph somewhere. It’s comforting which is suitable because mothers are comforting and nurturing but it needs a bit more passion in the sound in places. Overall, I appreciated it very much as a mother.
April 21, 2018
0
Thanks for the feedback. It was interesting that you pointed out that you thought the line “she had no skills” referred to the mother. At that point in the song I was still referring to a baby. Maybe I should have inserted the word “I” to make it clearer. That’s why feedback is important, other’s see things we don’t. I listend to your three songs and will comment. Please listen to my (Larry Psl) other 2 songs posted, one is about a relationship that worked, the other is a high energy “motivational” rock song.
Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment.
April 21, 2018
0
Okay, so I listened to it again. Last time I listened to it twice, and I don’t know why I thought you were referring to your mom as having “no skills”. I guess perhaps because it is usually assumed that babies don’t have any skills except for being completely adorable
April 23, 2018
0
I still agree with previous thoughts, it is a truly lovely song but needs a little lyrical refinement and some more variation in melody or intensity somewhere, though it is overall more sweet and soothing which is appropriate given that it is about mothers. It just depends on if this is is a personal song or song you wish to put out there commercially. If it’s personal, it’s just right, but if it’s also for commercial purposes, maybe shorten and tighten it up a bit. It is time to celebrate marriages, parenting, and children in music. It’s time to build up the family unit which is being relentlessly attacked and disparaged. You have the blessed advantage of having parents that really loved you and directed you so you have something to contribute to this discussion.
April 23, 2018
0
Sorry for the many messages. I put in emojis and it cut my feedback up.
April 23, 2018
0
Very sweet song Larry! I love many of your lines/lyrics, and not going to take the time to copy and paste, but great writing! I agree with Haydee, there has to be more variation in melody and harmony/chords/dynamics/intensity during the chorus, IMHO, like you made the changes to the bridge. But very sweet song overall, and your lyrics and message are killer!
August 27, 2018
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Haydee Ahrens
So there was a lot of really sweet sentiments here. Surely your mom would love this song. I like the line, “Dad built a house, mom made a home”.
One thing a lot of women will take issue with is saying she had no skills. It sounds like she cooked and taught you a lot. Some women will take issue with it but I don’t because it seems like you mean she has skills but the world doesn’t acknowledge them. Also, the melody needs a little more oomph somewhere. It’s comforting which is suitable because mothers are comforting and nurturing but it needs a bit more passion in the sound in places. Overall, I appreciated it very much as a mother.
April 21, 2018
No members have liked this comment.