I took some of yall's advise and wrote an alternate chorus in the end of this song!
Let me know if the additional chorus gives more detail to their story. Thanks for your honesty!
Hi Evan - I decided to look up your other songs I really liked the title and idea behind this song - again some lovely guitar work and vocal delivery.
The lyric didn’t quite work / connect emotionally. This guy feels like he had something which is gone ..but he could have again ? I ended up thinking he’s stuck in some sort of limbo.
I would be tempted to try a more positive , upbeat lyric , perhaps she’s asked him to call her at a set time when she gets in and he can’t wait to dial her number , full of expectation and hope. That might open up a different box and give the song a different energy . Perhaps dialling her number and waiting to hear her voice has never given him such a buzz and such expectation ? The word Dial says numbers and a special connection to me.
April 27, 2018
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I’m on the floor with a bottle of your favorite wine it pairs with my thoughts of you
Every time every time
I can hear the radio playing in the other room
Just the sound of faint guitar but I think I know that tune
If I turn the dial
Just for a little while
Chorus:
I could be with you
I could be with you again
I would be with you
I could be with you again
If I could turn the dial
I can’t help but look at that clock you left up on the wall and how it tells me that I’m
Wastin time wastin time
Been here all afternoon remembering when I met you
Wishing time could take me back to where I want it to
If I turn back the dial
Just for a little while
Chorus:
I could be with you
I could be with you again
I would be with you
I could be with you again
If I could turn the dial
Bridge:
Every time I pick up the phone to call
I just don’t have the words that say
I stay up nights wondering if you feel the same at all
But you’re still gone either way
If I just start to dial
Maybe for a little while
(Chorus)
To think we used to have the love
That all our friends were jealous of is crazy
Oh baby....
We had dreams of growing old
In that little blue house down the road
It could all just be a call away
If I could start to dial
0
Hi Evan, I like the song, I like the atmosphere and I like your vocals. Good work. I doubt if the additional chorus is necessary. I think the song is more a Jason Isbell style and no classic country, it doesn’t harm if you keep it a little bit vague.
March 15, 2018
0
Hi Evan - I decided to look up your other songs I really liked the title and idea behind this song - again some lovely guitar work and vocal delivery.
The lyric didn’t quite work / connect emotionally. This guy feels like he had something which is gone ..but he could have again ? I ended up thinking he’s stuck in some sort of limbo.
I would be tempted to try a more positive , upbeat lyric , perhaps she’s asked him to call her at a set time when she gets in and he can’t wait to dial her number , full of expectation and hope. That might open up a different box and give the song a different energy . Perhaps dialling her number and waiting to hear her voice has never given him such a buzz and such expectation ? The word Dial says numbers and a special connection to me.
April 27, 2018
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Frank Renfordt
Hi Evan, I like the song, I like the atmosphere and I like your vocals. Good work. I doubt if the additional chorus is necessary. I think the song is more a Jason Isbell style and no classic country, it doesn’t harm if you keep it a little bit vague.
March 15, 2018
No members have liked this comment.