Does this story line make sense?
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Verse:
Childish and nervous like I pulled up to your drive
and picked you up about 8:00
You’ve never looked so good
I’ve never felt this way
I’m only thinking one thing
Chorus:
I wanna run the town
you say lets slow down
time will only make things right
I see what we can be, and I think that maybe
we’re gonna share more than just this night
if thats okay?
Yeah, Baby thats okay with me
Verse:
I put the car in drive
zero to 65
eager to start our night
I don’t know whats moving faster
the car or my heart after
you looked and smiled my way
Chorus:
I wanna run the town
you say lets slow down
time will only make things right
I see what we can be, and I think that maybe
we’re gonna share more than just this night
if thats okay?
Yeah, Baby thats okay with me
Bridge:
I know I tend to rush into things
Thank God you have a patient heart
you have my word, I’ll try to take things slow
cause this is just the start
Chorus:
I wanna run the town
you say lets slow down
time will only make things right
I see what we can be, and I think that maybe
we’re gonna share more than just this night
if thats okay?
Yeah, Baby thats okay with me
1
First off, the song sounds good, although the story is not fully there yet. The 1st verse is all over the place, and needs to be rewritten. It doesn’t set up the story well. Where he wants to take things fast, and she wants to take things slow. Could be ideal for a duet - with a nice contrast of personalities.
February 28, 2018
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Gordon Donaldson
First off, the song sounds good, although the story is not fully there yet. The 1st verse is all over the place, and needs to be rewritten. It doesn’t set up the story well. Where he wants to take things fast, and she wants to take things slow. Could be ideal for a duet - with a nice contrast of personalities.
February 28, 2018