Jayne Sachs

Nice song James.  This is not a subject or genre that I am familiar with (songs with a religious bent), but it is hooky.  I feel like the chorus has a great melody but would love to hear the melody of the first 2 lines repeat exactly again in the same way with lines 3 and 4with

Jayne Sachs

Sorry- got kicked off internet… anyway it would be cool to hear the first two lines of the chorus repeat exactly in the same way on lines 3 and 4… with internals repeated too.  Just an idea.  Good job.

James Kelso

Thanks Jayne, great feedback. As I think about it now, from the perspective of unstable/stable or tension and resolution I can see how making 3 and 4 match 1 and 2 would feel more stable/resolved, which is how this chorus is supposed to be functioning. Tension in the verse-resolution in the chorus. Great feedback and really helpful! Thanks so much!

Rick McGee

Good song, James!  My suggestion is similar to Jayne’s because I really like the melody of the first three lines in your chorus.  After line three, I’d go back and repeat lines one and two, then go to the line, “no matter the foe”.  I also like that your first verse is short and gets right to the chorus.  Then I’m a bit iffy on why the second verse is twice as long…  Enjoyed listening!  God Bless!

Lisa Caterbone

Hi James. I really liked this song. I agree in the chorus it would be nice to hear that same melody repeated as Jayne suggested. I loved the bridge… Nicely done there. My only other suggestion would be to repeat the one line,  the hook of the song, “I don’t fight alone”, a time or two towards the end of the song. It makes a definitive and beautiful statement to me and I love how it’s sung.

James Kelso

Thanks Rick and Lisa, great feedback. this is why I am loving being a part of the Frettie community. Really helpful feedback! I will take another crack at that chorus I think!

Bob Abner

Verse 1—imho, very solid—catches my attention

Chorus—I like 2nd line (“You will defend it till the battle has ended”)—latter part of chorus needs to be tightened up (a little too meandering, both musically and lyrically

Verse 2—some good lyric craft, that slightly less “gathered” than the first verse

Bridge—nice enough, but with the solid songwriting level of the rest of the song, I was expecting to be “lifted up and carried away” by the bridge.

I like the title/hook of the song (“I Don’t Fight Alone”)—I DO think there is some really nice stuff going on in this song, and think this is potentially an outstanding song (probably why I was quite specific in my comments).

I think you have some nice lyric writing craft and skill, and I want to encourage you to keep at it. God bless you, and best of luck in your songwriting endeavors!!!

James Kelso

Bob, I am not sure how I missed your comments but this is wonderful feedback! Thank you! I will definitely take a hard look at these parts of the song!