I would love honest, unfiltered feedback on how this strong could be made stronger.
I like the verses (generally pretty succinct and gathered).
Choruses—last double line works well to tie up the chorus (Lord, you make me new, Lord, you make me new)—however, prior to that (in the chorus), the lyrics seem meandering and too wordy.
Musically, most of your songs are somewhat simplistic, though that doesn’t really seem to bother me.
Keep it up!
August 06, 2018
No members have liked this comment.
fwiw, I have thought several times about the possibility of us (God and you and me) co-writing—I think your songs have a “strong heart” (spiritually), and I do have a fair amount to offer when it comes to songwriting craft, especially musically (imho)—and of course, God is ALWAYS the best songwriter in the house!!!
August 06, 2018
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New James Simmons Music 2016
In every season I have seen
A falling rising mystery
New beginnings from the end
When death cuts like a knife
Decay springs into life
I feel your wonder once again
CHORUS
When you make me new like the trembling cry of lungs filling for the first time
New like the tender green stretching out for the springtime rain
New that won’t fade away when all my hair is either gone or grey
In every season I walk through
Lord you make me new
Lord you make me new
In your mercy I have found
A certain grace in falling down
Cause at the bottom finally
The only thing that’s left in me is you
Chorus
Bridge
And you won’t undo what you make new
No you won’t undo…
Chorus
0
I’m not sure if words and music fit together. It’s a nice melody, but it sounds rather sad, while the lyric is more cheerful. If you add a sad emotional lyric to that melody you can make people cry.
February 09, 2018
0
I like the verses (generally pretty succinct and gathered).
Choruses—last double line works well to tie up the chorus (Lord, you make me new, Lord, you make me new)—however, prior to that (in the chorus), the lyrics seem meandering and too wordy.
Musically, most of your songs are somewhat simplistic, though that doesn’t really seem to bother me.
Keep it up!
August 06, 2018
0
fwiw, I have thought several times about the possibility of us (God and you and me) co-writing—I think your songs have a “strong heart” (spiritually), and I do have a fair amount to offer when it comes to songwriting craft, especially musically (imho)—and of course, God is ALWAYS the best songwriter in the house!!!
August 06, 2018
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Frank Renfordt
I’m not sure if words and music fit together. It’s a nice melody, but it sounds rather sad, while the lyric is more cheerful. If you add a sad emotional lyric to that melody you can make people cry.
February 09, 2018
No members have liked this comment.