This song is simply about a depressed man missing his woman.
Everything, all feedback appreciated.
Thx Brent I agree , was a very tough time in my life there . Love this group
January 16, 2018
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Without you I feel so empty ,without you I feel so lost
like an angel with no heaven, like a coin that wont get tossed
Without you I have no reason, without you I have no rhyme
Like a book without a meaning , I am trapped here in time.
I am trapped here in time.
Without you I feel so lonely , without you there is no hope
Like a ship out on the ocean , drifting far from coast to coast
Without you there is no love ( Without you there is no love)
Without you I lose my mind ( Without you I lose my Mind)
Like the sands upon the desert ( Like the sands upon the desert)
I am trapped her in time ( Sometimes love is so unkind)
I am trapped her in time...
Without you I have no reason ( without you I have no reason)
Without you I have no Rhyme( without you I have no rhyme)
Like an Angel with no heaven ( Fallen Angel with no heaven)
I am trapped here in time( I am lost forever in my mind)
I am trapped here in time ( I am trapped here in time)
I am trapped here in time....
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Hi, Kevin! Thanks for sharing this with us. Man, I really wish you’d include your lyrics to your songs- it would make it so much easier for me to dig in and give feedback. But here goes, anyway.
I like the “coin that won’t get tossed” line. I’m a big imagery guy, so lines like that stick out to me. You definitely have the sad, lonely vibe going here. It all flows pretty well melodically. And that’s both good and bad- nothing feels “wrong,” but there aren’t any “wow” moments, either. I want some of those moments to surprise me, grab my attention and keep me engaged.
Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
January 15, 2018
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Thx Brent I agree , was a very tough time in my life there . Love this group
January 16, 2018
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Brent Baxter
Hi, Kevin! Thanks for sharing this with us. Man, I really wish you’d include your lyrics to your songs- it would make it so much easier for me to dig in and give feedback. But here goes, anyway.
I like the “coin that won’t get tossed” line. I’m a big imagery guy, so lines like that stick out to me. You definitely have the sad, lonely vibe going here. It all flows pretty well melodically. And that’s both good and bad- nothing feels “wrong,” but there aren’t any “wow” moments, either. I want some of those moments to surprise me, grab my attention and keep me engaged.
Hope that helps! Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song. It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything. Just a thought or two about the song. (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.) Thanks!
January 15, 2018
No members have liked this comment.