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Hits Like Whiskey

Jason Street

January 11, 2018

Genre: Country

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Hit songwriter reveals how to write songs that artists want to cut!

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Views: 149

Responses: 5




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About This Song


I wrote this with a co writer friend and the artist I am producing. I think its a good song, but not a great song. As of right now, it wont make the cut for the project. This is a rough demo.

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Any is welcome


5 Responses


Chad Sellers

I love the production and the vocal here! The redundant first line turns me off a bit going into the song.
I also feel like the song may be a little slow, like you could bump the bpm up a touch. And also cut a few words here and there.
I’d love to work on it in person with you. Or another song….
I live nearby in Hendersonville. Nice work!

January 11, 2018

Brent Baxter

Hi, Jason!  Welcome to Frettie, and thank you for sharing your song with us!  I agree with Chad about the redundant 1st line.

Yeah, it’s good, but it’s not great.  I think the biggest hurdle this song has to overcome is just the idea.  It’s not a bad one at all.  It’s clear, it makes sense for the genre… it’s just… done a lot.  I just feel like comparing a woman to whiskey (we’ve all done it) just puts that much more pressure on the melody/production/lyrical execution to be that much better.  They kind of have to overcome the idea.

But like I said, it’s not a bad idea at all. It just isn’t fresh enough to wow somebody right off the bat.  The other elements of the song will have to pick up the slack.  It’s better to keep digging for an exceptional, fresh idea that the rest of your song can rise with, not have to rise to overcome.

But the structure is good, melody is good.  Lyric is solid.

Hope that helps!  Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song.  It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything.  Just a thought or two about the song.  (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.)  Thanks!

January 11, 2018

Shane Trepeaux

Hey Jason! I like the sound a lot here. I’ll have to get your business card soon!

I do agree with what Brent and Chad are saying. And, I’m guilty myself of both at times. I tell ya what I was looking for in it was a little more imagery within the verses. I do enjoy what you’ve got going in the chorus! I like the build and can really get the picture there, without being told, “He or she are doing this or that” line after line. Know what I mean?

Like Brent said, the idea’s been so worked and worked. But maybe finding another way of saying it in those verses could be the ticket.(???) And then like Chad commented on the first line’s redundancy, maybe a cool first couple lines to catch the attention instead??? - Just my thoughts. Spot on with the production though!

I do like the song. Nice work!

January 12, 2018

Jason Street

Thanks guys! I really appreciate the feedback. It helps when working with an artist who is new to the business to show where the bar is.

January 16, 2018

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Tony True

Obviously your song writing chops are there…I’d like to hear what you could do with a fresher idea as said above.

There are some very good salvageable lines in this one if you were to ever re-construct this song.

January 16, 2018


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1

Chad Sellers

I love the production and the vocal here! The redundant first line turns me off a bit going into the song.
I also feel like the song may be a little slow, like you could bump the bpm up a touch. And also cut a few words here and there.
I’d love to work on it in person with you. Or another song….
I live nearby in Hendersonville. Nice work!

January 11, 2018

1

Brent Baxter

Hi, Jason!  Welcome to Frettie, and thank you for sharing your song with us!  I agree with Chad about the redundant 1st line.

Yeah, it’s good, but it’s not great.  I think the biggest hurdle this song has to overcome is just the idea.  It’s not a bad one at all.  It’s clear, it makes sense for the genre… it’s just… done a lot.  I just feel like comparing a woman to whiskey (we’ve all done it) just puts that much more pressure on the melody/production/lyrical execution to be that much better.  They kind of have to overcome the idea.

But like I said, it’s not a bad idea at all. It just isn’t fresh enough to wow somebody right off the bat.  The other elements of the song will have to pick up the slack.  It’s better to keep digging for an exceptional, fresh idea that the rest of your song can rise with, not have to rise to overcome.

But the structure is good, melody is good.  Lyric is solid.

Hope that helps!  Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song.  It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything.  Just a thought or two about the song.  (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.)  Thanks!

January 11, 2018

1

Shane Trepeaux

Hey Jason! I like the sound a lot here. I’ll have to get your business card soon!

I do agree with what Brent and Chad are saying. And, I’m guilty myself of both at times. I tell ya what I was looking for in it was a little more imagery within the verses. I do enjoy what you’ve got going in the chorus! I like the build and can really get the picture there, without being told, “He or she are doing this or that” line after line. Know what I mean?

Like Brent said, the idea’s been so worked and worked. But maybe finding another way of saying it in those verses could be the ticket.(???) And then like Chad commented on the first line’s redundancy, maybe a cool first couple lines to catch the attention instead??? - Just my thoughts. Spot on with the production though!

I do like the song. Nice work!

January 12, 2018

0

Jason Street

Thanks guys! I really appreciate the feedback. It helps when working with an artist who is new to the business to show where the bar is.

January 16, 2018

1

Tony True

Obviously your song writing chops are there…I’d like to hear what you could do with a fresher idea as said above.

There are some very good salvageable lines in this one if you were to ever re-construct this song.

January 16, 2018


Hits Like Whiskey

Written by Jason Street

VERSE 1

It caught me off guard, and took me by surprise
I was all alone just a minding my own in the neon light
I’d just stopped for a cold one, wasn’t looking for love
Next thing i know I was on your floor and then the sun came up


CHORUS

Girl you hit like Whiskey
Yea you came on strong
Just a little sip puts me on a trip that lasts all night long
You burn like a fire and i lose control
I cant quit cause the more i get the more i want
Girl you hit like whiskey


VERSE 2

Well its been a few days now, I’m still a little messed up
I cant concentrate, cause all I crave is more of you touch
Now I’m back on the barstool, down on the Bama line
The same old spot hoping ill get a shot of you one more time

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