Tommy Grimes III

I love this one! Here are just my thoughts, all just me maybe others think differently

I liked the “odd distant noise” in the intro, but I found it a bit distracting in the rest of the song.

I really wanted a second half to the second verse (so that it was the same as the first verse, with two parts), just to space out the chorus a little more before it’s second repeat - add that bit of expectation and wanting. Besides, I liked the song so much, having a bit longer would be great

Sandra Lynn

Great lyrical rhythm, great concept that is applicable to the masses, the words flow easily and nicely! The song starts off setting you up for a story…and I think theres such an opportunity here to add depth to the song with a second verse. Right now its just a small part of having a really hot date with someone you want to see again, but theres so much more that could be written about with these people that might take it to the next level…

some ideas:
-where did they go on their date?
-maybe it could be one of those songs where the first verse talks about their first date then the last verse is the two of them old together thinking of the past.
-maybe it could change to from first person to third and you could tell the her side/his side story. “Twenty minutes gone since she went in, he shoulda left but he’s still parked in her driveway…..” and go on from there.

Great song, its a hit! Look forward to hearing more!

Brent Baxter

Hey, Dave!  Thanks for sharing this one!  I dig it. Sounds current. Cool phrasing. Positive love me+you. I like that he’s still in the driveway- it’s more immediate.  Nothing to pick on based on a 1st listen.

I wonder about one thing, though… he’s talking to her- only in his head, right?  What if in the bridge or verse 2 the song makes it clear that he’s on the phone with her asking her to come back outside and keep the night going?  It would give more context to what he’s saying (he’s actually talking to someone) and it gives a call-to-action, a possible emotional resolution to the song.  After all, if he feels this way, and he’s wondering if she feels the same, he’s cooler if he does something about it- if he’s saying “if that kiss left you wanting more like I was, come on out, get back in the car, and let’s keep it going.”  Just a thought.

Overall, it’s good work!

Hope that helps!  Please take a moment to leave a comment on another writer’s song.  It doesn’t have to be super-detailed or anything.  Just a thought or two about the song.  (Also, the best way to GET feedback is to GIVE feedback.)  Thanks!

Chad Sellers

I really like this one. Could be on the radio today. I think the simplicity and repetition is on point for nashville right now. More is less. I’m trying to learn that myself!

I think I need the bridge needs to tell me something fresh or spin it somehow. I’m not sure any action needs to happen (like him going back to the door). Actually I think that should not happen here. But the bridge should give us something more.
Awesome job!

Dave Quirk

Thanks for the feedback Tommy!

Dave Quirk

Thanks Sandra, those are some good suggestions!

Dave Quirk

Thanks Brent - that’s a great idea for the bridge…David and I kept going back and forth on whether to keep it in the moment or move along…that idea kinda does both!

Dave Quirk

Thanks Chad, we’ll be looking at that bridge..

Shane Trepeaux

Hi Dave! I really like the flow of this a lot. I get it and it’s got it! This guy’s a bit shy and this is new love, complete with new kisses and all. Who hasn’t been there wondering, right? Me, I was so shy that I’d be hauling out of the drive, rather than sitting there twenty minutes for fear of her dad, mom, etc….HAHA! So it definitely is a song that people can relate to and that’s cool. I was left waiting for the resolution too, as Brent mentioned already. But this is a great song.

Right in the kisser with a commercial punch to the market here too! Nice work!

Kevin Fox

I really love this song at 1st listen . Left me wanting more . Great job