A memory can be a blessing, and a curse.....this song is one I wrote with a good friend and cowriter in a room at the Hampton Inn on Elliston Place in Nashville one evening after a long day of tracking demos.
You must be signed in to post feedback.
0
Hi, Marvin! Loving the classic country intro. I might shorten the space between lines 3 and the hook in the verses. Feels unnaturally long.
In the 2nd verse “early Spring,” I’d like to get more of an image. Give me a memory I can see. You do a great job of that in verse 3 with the specificity of the calendar note. That was great.
I’d like to hear more meat in the chorus. What’s the “it” that happens al the time? I need more of the big takeaway to be in the chorus. Feels incomplete.
The idea is solid, it’s just been done a lot, I feel. (Pretty sure I’ve written it a time or three myself.) So you have to REALLY bring the fresh imagery (like in V3) and the emotion to make your version of this hook/title/idea stand out.
But it’s solid, as usual! Hope it helps. Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
December 26, 2017
January 6th - I'll never forget
The first time she blessed me with her warm lips
Can't put something like that aside
With a memory like mine
Early spring - end of march
She filled every corner of my trusting heart
Can't put something like that aside
With a memory like mine
CHORUS
With a memory like mine
It happens all the time
There's no peace of mind
With a memory like mine
She tore a page off a calendar - in our bedroom
And wrote on the backside of the 12th of June
A broken heart can heal with time
But not with a memory like mine
CHORUS (repeat)
CHORUS (repeat)
Do you want to have this song reviewed by an industry professional or a hit songwriter? Click on any of the professionals below to purchase your review.
Sam & Becca Mizell:
Hit Songwriters
$50.00/Song
Sandy Ramos:
Songwriter
$25.00/Song
Don Poythress:
Hit Songwriter
$75.00/Song
James Sanger:
Grammy Winning Producer
$50.00/Song
Lon Van Eaton:
Producer
$49.00/Song
Tell your peers about professional song reviews on Frettie.
×
0
Brent Baxter
Hi, Marvin! Loving the classic country intro. I might shorten the space between lines 3 and the hook in the verses. Feels unnaturally long.
In the 2nd verse “early Spring,” I’d like to get more of an image. Give me a memory I can see. You do a great job of that in verse 3 with the specificity of the calendar note. That was great.
I’d like to hear more meat in the chorus. What’s the “it” that happens al the time? I need more of the big takeaway to be in the chorus. Feels incomplete.
The idea is solid, it’s just been done a lot, I feel. (Pretty sure I’ve written it a time or three myself.) So you have to REALLY bring the fresh imagery (like in V3) and the emotion to make your version of this hook/title/idea stand out.
But it’s solid, as usual! Hope it helps. Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
December 26, 2017
No members have liked this comment.