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Treading Water

Nick Clyburn

November 11, 2017

Genre: Country

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Responses: 6




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6 Responses


Brent Baxter

Hey, Nick!  Thanks for sharing this with us.  I like the energy and the vibe.  I like the title, too- it’s interesting and doesn’t give the song away.  Nice.  However, that exact phrase “Treading Water” doesn’t appear in your chorus.  I’d be more likely to call the song (just from one listen) “Going Down.”  But, as I’m sure you thought, it’s not as interesting as “Treading Water.”  I’d see if you can move some stuff around and land that title in a melodic spotlight so it’s more of a true hook.

Hope that helps!  Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song.  Thanks!

November 13, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Sonya Dauth

Hey Nick
I really enjoyed listening to this.
Got swept up along with it all easily.
Nice work.
Thanks for sharing it.
Cheers

November 14, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Nick Clyburn

Brent!
Thanks for listening, and for the feedback.
Sonya!
Thank you for listening!I’m glad you liked this one.

November 14, 2017

Michael R. J. Roth

Along the lines of what Brent suggested, maybe you could just make this little change:

And I’m going down
And I’m just treading water

And maybe this:

but now that your’e gone
I sure l need a hand
The loneliness is more than I can stand
And I’m just treading water

Sounds great, though!

November 14, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Robert Lloyd

I would imagine you and the band are a good live show. Good work. Great dynamics in the production.

“Trying to find my way” I would have begged for some strong strong harmonies to really pop this one! Good job. Oh well, sounds kind of redundant to say good job with your productions and songs. LOL Great job.

November 16, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Richard Kirk

Hey, loved the title and overall concept. Like Brent I want to hear The title more, especially as the payoff at the end of the chorus.  Guess some others have said that. Some good internal rhymes, though one has to be careful not to overdo them.  Good production, appropriate for this idea.
RK

November 17, 2017

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0

Brent Baxter

Hey, Nick!  Thanks for sharing this with us.  I like the energy and the vibe.  I like the title, too- it’s interesting and doesn’t give the song away.  Nice.  However, that exact phrase “Treading Water” doesn’t appear in your chorus.  I’d be more likely to call the song (just from one listen) “Going Down.”  But, as I’m sure you thought, it’s not as interesting as “Treading Water.”  I’d see if you can move some stuff around and land that title in a melodic spotlight so it’s more of a true hook.

Hope that helps!  Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song.  Thanks!

November 13, 2017

0

Sonya Dauth

Hey Nick
I really enjoyed listening to this.
Got swept up along with it all easily.
Nice work.
Thanks for sharing it.
Cheers

November 14, 2017

1

Nick Clyburn

Brent!
Thanks for listening, and for the feedback.
Sonya!
Thank you for listening!I’m glad you liked this one.

November 14, 2017

0

Michael R. J. Roth

Along the lines of what Brent suggested, maybe you could just make this little change:

And I’m going down
And I’m just treading water

And maybe this:

but now that your’e gone
I sure l need a hand
The loneliness is more than I can stand
And I’m just treading water

Sounds great, though!

November 14, 2017

0

Robert Lloyd

I would imagine you and the band are a good live show. Good work. Great dynamics in the production.

“Trying to find my way” I would have begged for some strong strong harmonies to really pop this one! Good job. Oh well, sounds kind of redundant to say good job with your productions and songs. LOL Great job.

November 16, 2017

0

Richard Kirk

Hey, loved the title and overall concept. Like Brent I want to hear The title more, especially as the payoff at the end of the chorus.  Guess some others have said that. Some good internal rhymes, though one has to be careful not to overdo them.  Good production, appropriate for this idea.
RK

November 17, 2017


Well you left me, forget me, hell I don't care is what I say out loud
You tried to warn me , I was storm free, just me and you on the out skirts of town
I should had paid attention when you mentioned that you weren't going to stay
Now it's over, the bed is colder, left behind the scent on your side where you laid
It's a shame and I'm to blame

Now I'm going doing
just trying to tread the water
trying to find my way
but it's just getting harder, and harder, and harder
Now that your'e gone
I still need a hand
Well I should have done a little past all I can

Well it's clear now that I don't know how someone like you ever loved someone like me
I guess you felt like I was just right, the man I was ain't half the man I'd be
I should had payed attention when you mentioned that you weren't going to stay
Now it's over the bed is colder, left behind the scent on your side where you laid
And it's a shame and I'm to blame

Now I'm going doing
just trying to tread the water
trying to find my way
but it's just getting harder, and harder, and harder
Now that your'e gone
I sure need a hand
Well I should have done a little past all I can
Because now I'm going down

Should have given you all my time
should have let you know your'e wanted
should have given you peace of mind
and reassured your'e the one and only
should of told your'e beautiful , most beautiful girl I know
But the past is in the past

And I'm going down
just trying to tread the water
trying to find my way
but it's just getting harder, and harder, and harder
but now that your'e gone
I sure l need a hand
Well I should have done a little past all I can
Because now I'm going down

just trying to tread the water, trying to find my way yeah
but it's just getting harder, and harder, and harder
all alone

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