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Tainted Dreams (New Version)

Carlos Tabora

October 28, 2017

Genre: Pop

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Views: 398

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About This Song


Song about heartbreak, broken dreams and the power of the human spirit. Words & Music by Carlos Tabora and Marilyn Oakley.

Feedback Requested


I would like feedback on the song and the demo we had produced at Kim Copeland Productions. We envision this song for an artist with a powerful voice/range like Adele.


5 Responses


Brent Baxter

Hey, Carlos!  Thanks for sharing your song with the Frettie community!

The demo sounds good.  I like much of the melody, too.  I’ll tell ya, though… your chorus kinda feels more like a pre-chorus or channel.  I was waiting for it to really hit the “power vocal” part.  I really want the energy and melody to hit a different gear in the chorus, and I felt a little let down when it didn’t.

Hope that helps.  Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song.  Thanks!

October 29, 2017

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Carlos Tabora

Thanks for the comments Brent. I’ll have to think about what you’ve said more because I think the song has good prosody between the lyrics & music and stays true to the song’s emotional journey (with a strong climax and resolution at the end). I think the singer did a good job even though she doesn’t have exactly the soulful tone I was looking for, but she did a very heartfelt performance. You can listen to the original version I left up on my profile with me just playing the piano and singing.

PS- I’ll be more involved in the Frettie community and am happy to “pay it forward”.

October 30, 2017

Sonya Dauth

Wow. That is haunting. Good luck with it. Cheers.

November 09, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Frank Renfordt

Hi Carlos,  - that is a nice demo - and you are right the song has a good prosody and emotional feel, however I have to agree with Brent - the chorus is somehow not that strong and stands not out enough to be really memorable. This could also be a good fit for a TV or movie placement, cause they are looking for songs which don’t distract to much from the pictures. Good luck! 

May 08, 2018

No members have liked this comment.

Carlos Tabora

Thanks again for the feedback Frank. I appreciate it.

May 13, 2018

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0

Brent Baxter

Hey, Carlos!  Thanks for sharing your song with the Frettie community!

The demo sounds good.  I like much of the melody, too.  I’ll tell ya, though… your chorus kinda feels more like a pre-chorus or channel.  I was waiting for it to really hit the “power vocal” part.  I really want the energy and melody to hit a different gear in the chorus, and I felt a little let down when it didn’t.

Hope that helps.  Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song.  Thanks!

October 29, 2017

1

Carlos Tabora

Thanks for the comments Brent. I’ll have to think about what you’ve said more because I think the song has good prosody between the lyrics & music and stays true to the song’s emotional journey (with a strong climax and resolution at the end). I think the singer did a good job even though she doesn’t have exactly the soulful tone I was looking for, but she did a very heartfelt performance. You can listen to the original version I left up on my profile with me just playing the piano and singing.

PS- I’ll be more involved in the Frettie community and am happy to “pay it forward”.

October 30, 2017

0

Sonya Dauth

Wow. That is haunting. Good luck with it. Cheers.

November 09, 2017

0

Frank Renfordt

Hi Carlos,  - that is a nice demo - and you are right the song has a good prosody and emotional feel, however I have to agree with Brent - the chorus is somehow not that strong and stands not out enough to be really memorable. This could also be a good fit for a TV or movie placement, cause they are looking for songs which don’t distract to much from the pictures. Good luck! 

May 08, 2018

0

Carlos Tabora

Thanks again for the feedback Frank. I appreciate it.

May 13, 2018


Tainted Dreams (New Version)

Written by Carlos Tabora

Tainted Dreams
Words and Music by Carlos Tabora and Marilyn Oakley

Intro
I tried to hold you, but you turned to say..it's just a dream

Verse 1
Your pillow's bare where you used to sleep
But I swear I still can hear you breathe
A gold chain that I gave you to show my love
Hangs hauntingly, reminding me

CHORUS
Tainted dreams are all I have
Of a life you left behind
Our love once blessed now feels so dead
It bleeds black, no longer red
Taking every memory that we had
And leaving tainted dreams instead

Verse 2
I'll never get that vision from my mind
Where another's arms held you tight
Where a moon showed the deceit in your soul
One you thought I'd never know

CHORUS
Tainted dreams are all I have
Of a life you left behind
Our love once blessed now feels so dead
It bleeds black, no longer red
Taking every memory that we had...

Bridge
I no longer go to Lover's Cove where we kissed
I can still taste my bitterness
And that's not someone I want to know
I heard goodbye coming from your lips
Now I need something new to get me over this
Save my soul. Help me let me go.

FINAL CHORUS
Tainted dreams are all that's left
Of a life I'm leaving behind
A love once ours is laid to rest
You can take these tainted dreams
I need room for new memories
It's time to live my life instead

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