Young love in the Sixties, performed by Nigel Cuff
Thanks for the positive comments, Brent, I know what you mean by the melody. Not playing an instrument restricts the melodies I can come up with - too late to learn now, I’m afraid.
October 27, 2017
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Just To Be With You
For a long, long time I’ve been watching you
Any time that you passed by
But I’m so in awe
I can’t even look you in the eye
I’ve tried and tried to walk up to you
And tell you just how I feel
But I haven’t yet
It all seems so unreal
Chorus
I want so much just to be with you
And to bring a smile to your face
But up till now I’ve just not had the nerve
I don’t know what I’m going to do
I’m such a hopeless case
To know how I feel is the least that you deserve
Verse
So today when you went walking past
I plucked up the courage to say “Hi !”
And you turned around
And looked me straight in the eye
And you replied that you’d noticed me
And you’d longed so much to say “Hello !”
But how to meet up with me
You just didn’t know
Chorus
I want so much just to be with you
And to bring a smile to your face
But up till now I’ve just not had the nerve
I don’t know what I’m going to do
I’m such a hopeless case
To know how I feel is the least that you deserve
Verse
I’ve said goodbye to all the lonely times
You and I have never been apart
I’m the happiest guy in the world
Since I won your heart
And I’m oh so glad that I talked to you
Since that day everything’s felt so right
For you and me
The future’s oh so bright
For you and me
The future’s oh so bright
For you and me
The future’s oh so bright
© Robin Grimmond 2017
0
Hey, Robin! Thanks for sharing your song with us. You mentioned in your description that the song is “young love in the 60’s” and it definitely has that 60’s throwback feel to it.
I like that the story has a clear beginning middle and end. It has a satisfying happy ending. I also like that it has some groove to it. It’s not just a slow ballad.
While it’s pretty conversational, I’d go for some more compelling, interesting language. Give me a few pops of imagery or the unexpected. Also, I didn’t get anything unexpected melodically. I guess that’s what I’m really missing here- something to surprise and delight and really stick with me.
Hope this helps! Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
October 27, 2017
1
Thanks for the positive comments, Brent, I know what you mean by the melody. Not playing an instrument restricts the melodies I can come up with - too late to learn now, I’m afraid.
October 27, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Hey, Robin! Thanks for sharing your song with us. You mentioned in your description that the song is “young love in the 60’s” and it definitely has that 60’s throwback feel to it.
I like that the story has a clear beginning middle and end. It has a satisfying happy ending. I also like that it has some groove to it. It’s not just a slow ballad.
While it’s pretty conversational, I’d go for some more compelling, interesting language. Give me a few pops of imagery or the unexpected. Also, I didn’t get anything unexpected melodically. I guess that’s what I’m really missing here- something to surprise and delight and really stick with me.
Hope this helps! Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song. Thanks!
October 27, 2017
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