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How being with someone can make you feel tipsy.
Any feedback welcomed.
I like this one… this is a pitchable song no doubt. I like this as a demo with just guitar and vocals with the nice harmonies. I like the play on words and they just flow ... “It’s like whiskey when you kiss me” ... very very nice.
By the way, I love the girl singer’s voice. And also the odd notes within some of the chords. You are a songwriter Joseph. If I pitched songs I would be begging for your catalog.
August 03, 2017
Hey Joseph, this is a cool song!
I do agree with both Donna and Robert in every way. Too, maybe it’s just like Brent often says, “making the bullseye” (pitch-to options) smaller here. That’s my initial thoughts. I think it’s got really good imagery and like Robert said, a very pitchable song.
I know, I know, to each his own when it comes to alcohol. But here’s my 2 cents. I think most who drink can relate easily here. It’s that good of a song! But ya know, maybe while many artists and folks drink, maybe those same wouldn’t want to sing it themselves for fear of being judged. (??) Oops, did I mean there are closet drinkers/artists??!!! Nah, surely not! - Lol! Very nice work though. I’d like you to see some success with this song somehow. It’s catchy!
Btw, my wife got a Lo-Fi Vintage t-shirt made for me. It’s ME man, NO DOUBT! I love it! We’ll have to meet sometime though for you to claim any of that title and a percentage. - Go write that song, quick! .....hahaha!
January 12, 2018
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Whiskey When You Kiss Me
Verse 1:
Don’t know what it is, don’t know what you do
But it feels so right, and it feels so true
Yeah you stole my heart, stole it right away
From those other boys, yeah I gotta say
Chorus:
Got my head spinning ‘round, and I’m feeling so unwound
I’m addicted to you, oh I need you with me
You make me feel so warm, like the rain in a summer storm
Just a little bit of you and I start to feel tipsy, it’s like whiskey when you kiss me
Verse 2:
I’ve never been, so drunk before
From a lover’s touch, yeah I want some more
Cause I’m in a haze, yet I see so clear
Yeah you see me too, get on over here
Chorus:
Got my head spinning ‘round, and I’m feeling so unwound
I’m addicted to you, oh I need you with me
You make me feel so warm, like the rain in a summer storm
Just a little bit of you and I start to feel tipsy, it’s like whiskey when you kiss me
Bridge:
You’re stronger than Jack and Jim
And smoother than both of them
Baby you’re my drink of choice
And I’ll take another round
Come on boy now lay me down, lay me down
Chorus:
Got my head spinning ‘round, and I’m feeling so unwound
I’m addicted to you, oh I need you with me
You make me feel so warm, like the rain in a summer storm
Just a little bit of you and I start to feel tipsy, it’s like whiskey when you kiss me
Outro:
Like throwing shots back, straight from the bottle
I’m loving right now and not thinking about tomorrow
Joseph Henry Castleman
731.514.7072
jhcsongs@gmail.com
1
I love the melody on the chorus of this tune!
Fun idea to compare the feeling of attraction to being tipsy…. I wondered if addiction was too strong a word for that feeling in the chorus, but I get how it relates… and overall thought the way the chorus explained it was good.
With that tipsy comparison in the chorus and I wondered if it the song gets too drunkish as it moves forward…with verse 2 opening with “I’ve never been so drunk before.”
In bridge (line 2) I’d love a different comparison rather than the “smoother than both of them.”
On outro, I wondered if it works to say “Throwing shots back straight from the bottle” since shots are really only thrown back from a shot glass or a smaller glass. But, not sure…
Songwriting critiques can be so subjective though. as a fellow writer, I get that what you wrote may be just what it needs… Just sharing my thoughts… definitely not that I am right .... BUT….Enjoyed your song! Keep writing!!!!
July 28, 2017
1
I like this one… this is a pitchable song no doubt. I like this as a demo with just guitar and vocals with the nice harmonies. I like the play on words and they just flow ... “It’s like whiskey when you kiss me” ... very very nice.
By the way, I love the girl singer’s voice. And also the odd notes within some of the chords. You are a songwriter Joseph. If I pitched songs I would be begging for your catalog.
August 03, 2017
0
Hey Joseph, this is a cool song!
I do agree with both Donna and Robert in every way. Too, maybe it’s just like Brent often says, “making the bullseye” (pitch-to options) smaller here. That’s my initial thoughts. I think it’s got really good imagery and like Robert said, a very pitchable song.
I know, I know, to each his own when it comes to alcohol. But here’s my 2 cents. I think most who drink can relate easily here. It’s that good of a song! But ya know, maybe while many artists and folks drink, maybe those same wouldn’t want to sing it themselves for fear of being judged. (??) Oops, did I mean there are closet drinkers/artists??!!! Nah, surely not! - Lol! Very nice work though. I’d like you to see some success with this song somehow. It’s catchy!
Btw, my wife got a Lo-Fi Vintage t-shirt made for me. It’s ME man, NO DOUBT! I love it! We’ll have to meet sometime though for you to claim any of that title and a percentage. - Go write that song, quick! .....hahaha!
January 12, 2018
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Donna King
I love the melody on the chorus of this tune!
Fun idea to compare the feeling of attraction to being tipsy…. I wondered if addiction was too strong a word for that feeling in the chorus, but I get how it relates… and overall thought the way the chorus explained it was good.
With that tipsy comparison in the chorus and I wondered if it the song gets too drunkish as it moves forward…with verse 2 opening with “I’ve never been so drunk before.”
In bridge (line 2) I’d love a different comparison rather than the “smoother than both of them.”
On outro, I wondered if it works to say “Throwing shots back straight from the bottle” since shots are really only thrown back from a shot glass or a smaller glass. But, not sure…
Songwriting critiques can be so subjective though. as a fellow writer, I get that what you wrote may be just what it needs… Just sharing my thoughts… definitely not that I am right .... BUT….Enjoyed your song! Keep writing!!!!
July 28, 2017