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GPS

Donna King

July 26, 2017

Genre: Country

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About This Song


Hey ALL! This is a song that I wrote with an artist I've been writing with lots over the last two years... She is growing and I am hopeful about her future! This is a VERY rough track (in fact we haven't even added guitars yet). We did this on the fly...as we wrote... Written with Riley Roth and Brandon James. Very edgy... more on pop vein. However, we plan to work the track into the Pop Country world. That is the genre she is pursuing.

Feedback Requested


I appreciate your feedback. smile


10 Responses


Phillip Lemmonds

A quick couple of thoughts…

With “distracted driving” being in the news quite a bit lately, not sure I’d be singing about running stop signs because we were kissing.

I would consider dropping the “that” in the chorus before “I can’t forget”.  A little pause before would give more emphasis to the phrase.

Keep writing!

Phillip

July 26, 2017

Donna King

Great feedback @Phillip Lemmonds!  I almost commented on that as a concern as I went to post comments but decided to just be quiet and see if it hit anyone else as a concern! THANK YOU!  And the THAT was definitely something I hoped we’d take out… I always like edited out “not needed” words. I will pass this on to my cowriters and that way we can know that another ear heard the same concerns!  YOU are awesome!

July 26, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

James Gregory

Shoulda been the last goodbye, last mile I drive, but I just can’t help myself…..NICE! Love the lyrical flow to this. Tell me more about the hell that happened at the 7-11…great descriptions in the verses and love the hook!

July 26, 2017

Donna King

Great input James!  Thank YOU!

July 26, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Bob Pitts

Catchy hook-line.  I like the metaphor view on the GPS. As far as the rough recording (which wasn’t really that bad), it would probably sound cool with some good bass riffs added and another instrument in the 2nd verse for some dynamics.  Anyway that’s my 2 cents.  Keep writing!

July 27, 2017

Brent Baxter

Hey, Donna!  Thanks for sharing our song.  I dig the vibe, phrasing and basic idea.  “Back when our IDs were fake” is one cool line among several.

I’m just not sure about the title.  “GPS” feels a little “off” to me.  Same with the “reroute” line.  Might just be a personal preference thing.  Heck, it may be perfect.  But overall I like it.  There’s a lot of good writing here.  Nice work!

Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song.  Thanks!

July 28, 2017

Donna King

Thank you Bob for the feedback!  So kind! And….Thank you Brett! I wondered about that title. During the write we talked about maybe “Like a GPS.” Is that still weird? LOL!

On the reroute… Our thoughts were to try to add some elements of how a GPS works… like how it reroutes us etc… We might have been reaching… I’ll throw the thoughts out to my cowriters.

Thank you for the input and I will definitely be going to listen and comment on other tunes. So appreciate it!

July 28, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Joseph Henry Castleman

The verses are really good, very descriptive! It has a sound that could be pop or be a country/pop crossover, which is always good. In the chorus, my ear wants “GPS” and “down” to rhyme. So maybe something like “my heart is like a GPS, I put in my address,  but it’s taking me back to your driveway. And if you’re thinking of changing the title, I might go with “Reroute”. Hope this helps!

July 28, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Kay Williams/Mott

I read all the other feedback, and I think they really did a great job on specifics.  I love her voice, her sound, I like the conversational sound and I always think it’s fun to star the touch ups at the end when the song really takes a turn and shouts out.  I like this song a lot.

January 21, 2018

No members have liked this comment.

Carol Katterjohn

Great song! Love all the imagery. Puts me right there.

July 10, 2018

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1

Phillip Lemmonds

A quick couple of thoughts…

With “distracted driving” being in the news quite a bit lately, not sure I’d be singing about running stop signs because we were kissing.

I would consider dropping the “that” in the chorus before “I can’t forget”.  A little pause before would give more emphasis to the phrase.

Keep writing!

Phillip

July 26, 2017

0

Donna King

Great feedback @Phillip Lemmonds!  I almost commented on that as a concern as I went to post comments but decided to just be quiet and see if it hit anyone else as a concern! THANK YOU!  And the THAT was definitely something I hoped we’d take out… I always like edited out “not needed” words. I will pass this on to my cowriters and that way we can know that another ear heard the same concerns!  YOU are awesome!

July 26, 2017

1

James Gregory

Shoulda been the last goodbye, last mile I drive, but I just can’t help myself…..NICE! Love the lyrical flow to this. Tell me more about the hell that happened at the 7-11…great descriptions in the verses and love the hook!

July 26, 2017

0

Donna King

Great input James!  Thank YOU!

July 26, 2017

1

Bob Pitts

Catchy hook-line.  I like the metaphor view on the GPS. As far as the rough recording (which wasn’t really that bad), it would probably sound cool with some good bass riffs added and another instrument in the 2nd verse for some dynamics.  Anyway that’s my 2 cents.  Keep writing!

July 27, 2017

1

Brent Baxter

Hey, Donna!  Thanks for sharing our song.  I dig the vibe, phrasing and basic idea.  “Back when our IDs were fake” is one cool line among several.

I’m just not sure about the title.  “GPS” feels a little “off” to me.  Same with the “reroute” line.  Might just be a personal preference thing.  Heck, it may be perfect.  But overall I like it.  There’s a lot of good writing here.  Nice work!

Please pay it forward by leaving a comment on another writer’s song.  Thanks!

July 28, 2017

0

Donna King

Thank you Bob for the feedback!  So kind! And….Thank you Brett! I wondered about that title. During the write we talked about maybe “Like a GPS.” Is that still weird? LOL!

On the reroute… Our thoughts were to try to add some elements of how a GPS works… like how it reroutes us etc… We might have been reaching… I’ll throw the thoughts out to my cowriters.

Thank you for the input and I will definitely be going to listen and comment on other tunes. So appreciate it!

July 28, 2017

0

Joseph Henry Castleman

The verses are really good, very descriptive! It has a sound that could be pop or be a country/pop crossover, which is always good. In the chorus, my ear wants “GPS” and “down” to rhyme. So maybe something like “my heart is like a GPS, I put in my address,  but it’s taking me back to your driveway. And if you’re thinking of changing the title, I might go with “Reroute”. Hope this helps!

July 28, 2017

0

Kay Williams/Mott

I read all the other feedback, and I think they really did a great job on specifics.  I love her voice, her sound, I like the conversational sound and I always think it’s fun to star the touch ups at the end when the song really takes a turn and shouts out.  I like this song a lot.

January 21, 2018

0

Carol Katterjohn

Great song! Love all the imagery. Puts me right there.

July 10, 2018


GPS

Every yellow light blinking got me thinking ‘bout me and you
Every stop sign we missed cuz a kiss made us roll right through
That number 5 gas pump where you first told me you loved me
I’m/Just driving ‘round town turning right down every wrong street

My heart is like a GPS
I’m tryin’ to slow down but it’s takin’ me back
To your driveway,
To your front step
Past the parkin lot
Where we first met
Yeah
I know that I should turn around
But every memory is making me reroute
Got me navigating to those destinations that I can’t forget
My heart is like a GPS


That late night ihop stop that we used to make
That bar we got into back when our IDs were fake
That 7/eleven where our little heaven turned to hell
Shoulda been the last goodbye, last mile I drive, but I just can’t help myself
Cause...

CHORUS

Here I am at your door again
There you go letting me back in
We both know that this road is just gonna lead to a dead end (but)

CHORUS

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