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Take Away

Bob Pitts

July 18, 2017

Genre: Christian

More by Bob


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Views: 1341

Responses: 4




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About This Song


My latest inspirational tune. Expresses what I believe in and why.

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What do you think in general?


4 Responses


Brent Baxter

Hi, Bob!  Welcome to Frettie!  Thanks for sharing your song with us.  Just a note to help you get more (and more helpful) reviews: upload your lyrics.

That being said… I’m a little confused.  You said “take away the skies, etc. and I’d have nothing.”  That’s confusing in a Christian lyric.  It feels more like you’d still have the most important thing - Christ.

Maybe I’m missing something, but I can’t see the lyrics.

The chorus lyric works for me, but it doesn’t feel connected to the verse lyrics thematically.  I think if you tie them more closely together it will strengthen your song.

I hope that helps.  Again, thanks for sharing.  Please pay it forward by leaving a comment or review on another writer’s song.  Thanks!

July 18, 2017

Bob Pitts

Brent, thank you so much.  That was perfect!  You hit the nail on the head.  I get myself in trouble with lyrics trying to get too deep thinking everyone understands what I’m saying.  I have made some changes and will type them in the lyric sheet. I am proud to be a part of this group and I mean that whole heartedly!  Once again thanks a million!!!

July 19, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Billy Sweeney

Bob - as Brent said, thanks for sharing.  I listened to this and Concrete or Sand.  To be honest, I found it a bit difficult to stay engaged as the music was out of time.  if i could recommend tightening up the music i believe the listener will be able to better connect with the song.  keep at it!

July 23, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Bob Pitts

Thanks, Billy.  I have been taking a lot of short cuts (that I shouldn’t have) on my recording.  What you heard was a delay of my dubbing on the solo.  I used Soundtrap which is a free studio site that didn’t record right.  The timing was off because of my computer and/or the site was too slow.  Your comment reminded me I need to go back to using my Boss cd digital recorder. No worries I was planning on re-recording it anyway because of the rewrite.

July 28, 2017

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Take away the sun or the moon
Or even a cool breeze on a hot afternoon
Would I have nothing
Would I have nothing
Take away the Auburn skies
All the the stars or things beyond my eyes
Would I have nothing
Would I have nothing

Now I believe my God is King
The Creator of everything
And I believe that He made everything for His glory
And I believe that Christ is Lord
I will use His word as my sword
And I will tell the whole world of His true story
'cause He's holy and that's truly something

Take away the love from someone
Or take away all of my emotions
Would I have nothing
Would I have nothing

Take away everything I can learn
Or take away everything I can earn
Would I have nothing
Would I have nothing

I believe my God is King
He's the ruler of everything
I believe that He made every soul for His glory
And I believe that Christ is Lord
As I use His word as my sword
Everyone that is saved will tell His true story
'cause He's holy and that's truly something

Take away my worldly ways
Hollywood dreams and crazy games I play
'cause I have Jesus
I have Jesus

Take away my foolish pride
My ego and selfishness I strive
I have Jesus
Yeah I have Jesus

I believe my God is King
And He's the answer to everything
I will always give Him all of the glory
I know that Christ is Lord
And I will soon receive my reward
For every seed that I planted from His story
'cause He's holy so holy so holy and that's truly something

1

Brent Baxter

Hi, Bob!  Welcome to Frettie!  Thanks for sharing your song with us.  Just a note to help you get more (and more helpful) reviews: upload your lyrics.

That being said… I’m a little confused.  You said “take away the skies, etc. and I’d have nothing.”  That’s confusing in a Christian lyric.  It feels more like you’d still have the most important thing - Christ.

Maybe I’m missing something, but I can’t see the lyrics.

The chorus lyric works for me, but it doesn’t feel connected to the verse lyrics thematically.  I think if you tie them more closely together it will strengthen your song.

I hope that helps.  Again, thanks for sharing.  Please pay it forward by leaving a comment or review on another writer’s song.  Thanks!

July 18, 2017

0

Bob Pitts

Brent, thank you so much.  That was perfect!  You hit the nail on the head.  I get myself in trouble with lyrics trying to get too deep thinking everyone understands what I’m saying.  I have made some changes and will type them in the lyric sheet. I am proud to be a part of this group and I mean that whole heartedly!  Once again thanks a million!!!

July 19, 2017

0

Billy Sweeney

Bob - as Brent said, thanks for sharing.  I listened to this and Concrete or Sand.  To be honest, I found it a bit difficult to stay engaged as the music was out of time.  if i could recommend tightening up the music i believe the listener will be able to better connect with the song.  keep at it!

July 23, 2017

0

Bob Pitts

Thanks, Billy.  I have been taking a lot of short cuts (that I shouldn’t have) on my recording.  What you heard was a delay of my dubbing on the solo.  I used Soundtrap which is a free studio site that didn’t record right.  The timing was off because of my computer and/or the site was too slow.  Your comment reminded me I need to go back to using my Boss cd digital recorder. No worries I was planning on re-recording it anyway because of the rewrite.

July 28, 2017


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