when feelings are mutual. posting with an acoustic arrangement.
Any and all feedback is always appreciated, thank you!
Brent,
Thank you for the feedback, I really like the idea to put those verses first! Thank You!
July 21, 2017
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I know you wrote this to be a country song, but every time I read the lyrics, I keep hearing a pop song.
Imagine a 120bpm track with synths and a good percussion beat:
I didn’t know, I could be kissable
I didn’t know, I was irresistible
I didn’t know, until you came along
Just a thought…
Phillip
August 06, 2017
Phillip,
I am a fan of almost all genres. I would love to make it pop or country. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and comment! speeding things up is never a bad thing too:)!
August 08, 2017
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Great tune. Strong pop sensibility on the chorus.
This idea of I didn’t know I could be “likeable/kissable” is a great idea for a song. Specifically the last part of that question, and maybe even more specifically the kissable part. I bet so many people could relate to that realization falling in love for the first time. That said, I think there is a lot going on in the chorus, a couple different emotions, revolving around things you didn’t know about yourself, and regardless of what I found interesting, or the phrase I liked, you should ask yourself what is the one idea or word that hits you about this chorus (that comes after the I didn’t know question posed) and really make that the focal point, and if possible be able to repeat it in the chorus, especially at the end. If you went with kissable then Brent’s advice here is super solid as it sets up the chorus great as he noted, and then instead of the outdoors part you could use the lyrics from the last half of the first verse (now that you used face turns red hot mess instead) for a second verse (with some small tweaks so they fit of course.) And given you have a bridge and strong chorus, you may not even need the second verse to be as long as the first. You could have it all pretty close to finish with just some swapping of lyrics. Anyhow, a lot of ideas to consider, hopefully one of them was helpful!
July 22, 2020
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I Didn't Know
you text me
say hey I'm coming over
look out your window
left flowers on your rover
oh oh oh woah oh
you couldnt sleep
cause I was in your dreams
love that feeling
when you are with me
oh oh oh whoah oh
chorus
I didn't know no I didn't know
that I could be kissable, likable
until you showed me eheheh
I didn't know no I didn't know
that I could be strong
and weak in the knees eheheh
every day is is such a rush
I can't believe that your in love
with me
my face turns red
i say all the wrong things
you start to laugh
say you do the same things
oh oh oh whoah oh
hikin' fishin'
lovin the outdoors
Imma hot mess
still pull me in closer
chorus repeat
[Bridge in the works]
I didn't know
I didn't know
I didn't know
I didn't know
a kiss could linger
I didn't think that things would get better
oh oh oh
chorus repeat
1
Hey, Amber! Thanks for sharing your song. I like the idea of the song. I’d think about switching the 1st and 2nd verses. Putting the “face turns red” “hot mess” stuff first will make your chorus hit harder ‘cuz you’ve set up why you didn’t know you were kissable, likable, etc.
I like that you’re writing uptempo positive!
Please pay it forward by leaving a comment or review on another writer’s song. Thanks!
July 19, 2017
0
Brent,
Thank you for the feedback, I really like the idea to put those verses first! Thank You!
July 21, 2017
1
I know you wrote this to be a country song, but every time I read the lyrics, I keep hearing a pop song.
Imagine a 120bpm track with synths and a good percussion beat:
I didn’t know, I could be kissable
I didn’t know, I was irresistible
I didn’t know, until you came along
Just a thought…
Phillip
August 06, 2017
0
Phillip,
I am a fan of almost all genres. I would love to make it pop or country. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen and comment! speeding things up is never a bad thing too:)!
August 08, 2017
0
Great tune. Strong pop sensibility on the chorus.
This idea of I didn’t know I could be “likeable/kissable” is a great idea for a song. Specifically the last part of that question, and maybe even more specifically the kissable part. I bet so many people could relate to that realization falling in love for the first time. That said, I think there is a lot going on in the chorus, a couple different emotions, revolving around things you didn’t know about yourself, and regardless of what I found interesting, or the phrase I liked, you should ask yourself what is the one idea or word that hits you about this chorus (that comes after the I didn’t know question posed) and really make that the focal point, and if possible be able to repeat it in the chorus, especially at the end. If you went with kissable then Brent’s advice here is super solid as it sets up the chorus great as he noted, and then instead of the outdoors part you could use the lyrics from the last half of the first verse (now that you used face turns red hot mess instead) for a second verse (with some small tweaks so they fit of course.) And given you have a bridge and strong chorus, you may not even need the second verse to be as long as the first. You could have it all pretty close to finish with just some swapping of lyrics. Anyhow, a lot of ideas to consider, hopefully one of them was helpful!
July 22, 2020
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Brent Baxter
Hey, Amber! Thanks for sharing your song. I like the idea of the song. I’d think about switching the 1st and 2nd verses. Putting the “face turns red” “hot mess” stuff first will make your chorus hit harder ‘cuz you’ve set up why you didn’t know you were kissable, likable, etc.
I like that you’re writing uptempo positive!
Please pay it forward by leaving a comment or review on another writer’s song. Thanks!
July 19, 2017