Join The Community

Connect, showcase, get feedback and grow as a songwriter. Join the Frettie community today!

Broken Glass

Marvin Adcock

June 29, 2017

Genre: Country

More by Marvin


Likes

Our Sponsors

An awesome & helpful podcast for singers, songwriters & indie artists like YOU!

Likes:

Views: 219

Responses: 3




Share

Report

About This Song


They’ve shared a life he can’t remember, they’ve shared a life she can’t forget.


3 Responses


Brent Baxter

Hey, Marvin!  Killer first 4 lines!  Moving, and let’s me know instantly what the situation is.  Well done.

I’d consider changing “broken” to “shattered” in the line “was broken like a mirror into pieces of their past.”  It would save that word for the hook, giving it more power.

Overall, strong song!

July 10, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Marvin Adcock

Thanks again for the great feedback.

July 11, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Marvin Adcock

I had considered using “shattered” in the third line of the chorus instead of “broken”, but chose to save it for the third verse to tie it back into the “glass theme”. I had also considered using the word “splintered” because of the alliteration of the word and to add the double rhyme in the third line, “splintered like a mirror”.

Thanks again Brent Baxter for the feedback.

July 11, 2017

No members have liked this comment.


You must be signed in to post feedback.


0

Brent Baxter

Hey, Marvin!  Killer first 4 lines!  Moving, and let’s me know instantly what the situation is.  Well done.

I’d consider changing “broken” to “shattered” in the line “was broken like a mirror into pieces of their past.”  It would save that word for the hook, giving it more power.

Overall, strong song!

July 10, 2017

0

Marvin Adcock

Thanks again for the great feedback.

July 11, 2017

0

Marvin Adcock

I had considered using “shattered” in the third line of the chorus instead of “broken”, but chose to save it for the third verse to tie it back into the “glass theme”. I had also considered using the word “splintered” because of the alliteration of the word and to add the double rhyme in the third line, “splintered like a mirror”.

Thanks again Brent Baxter for the feedback.

July 11, 2017


They’ve shared a life he can’t remember
They’ve shared a life she can’t forget
She’s the stranger in the mirror
Who combs his hair and helps him dress

They started young raisin’ a family
Seldom took time for themselves
Had a closeness most can only dream
Through rich or poor, sickness and health

Before his memory of their history
Was broken like a mirror into pieces of their past
Like broken glass

He used to joke “I don’t remember squat”
She’d just say “You work too hard”
Now lost among his shattered thoughts
He still holds her in his arms

Before his memory of their history
Was broken like a mirror into pieces of their past
Like broken glass

He’ll always be - the husband that she loves
She’ll always see - the father that he was

Before his memory of their history
Was broken like a mirror into pieces of their past
Like broken glass

×