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Since He Won’t Leave

Graham Donahue

June 25, 2017

Genre: Christian

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Responses: 5




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About This Song


This is a song about commitment, even in the hard times.

Feedback Requested


I would love any and all feedback concerning the writing of this song lyrically and melodically.


5 Responses


Robert Lloyd

Hi Graham… this is tough. Lyrically, it is difficult for me to listen to a song about a man that stays with his wife that has been unfaithful. I don’t want to go further biblically as that is not what we are about in this forum.

Those are my feelings if that is of any help.

June 27, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Phillip Lemmonds

Like Robert, I have conflicting feelings about the theme of the song, but if your faith is strong enough, go with it.

Word wise, watch your “but"s, “and"s and “that”‘s.  They are often used as “filler” words that don’t add anything to the song except melody timing.  If you removed them, does the meaning of the line change.  If it doesn’t, you need to rewrite the line.

The lyrics would be better written as:
My heart was broken when I got the news
That you were with another last night
Some say I should be packing my bags
So I can get out of sight

I have a Savior who gave me his all
I’ve been unfaithful, stumble and fall
But he never leaves though I’ve been untrue
Since he won’t leave me, I’ll never leave you

You get the idea…

Phillip

June 27, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Brent Baxter

Hi, Graham!  Thanks for sharing your song.  It’s an interesting idea.  It’s challenging, though I agree with the premise.

I dig the idea, but maybe you shouldn’t just throw out “you cheated on my- LAST NIGHT.”  That’s really quick for him to just say, “Yep, I’m not leaving.”  I want to feel the PAIN.  That situation would be utterly heartbreaking, and the listener needs to FEEL that.  Melodically, I’m not feeling the pain.

Maybe you can drop the cheating thing for more general “we fight a lot.”  But the cheating thing IS a good parallel for how unfaithful we can be as Christians.

So, make it where they’re in the struggle of staying together or not- not a new, fresh infidelity, but one they’re in the muck of cleaning up, and he’s struggling.  And she wonders if he’s gonna leave (part of her thinking he should).

I think if it’s done right, it could be really cool.  Keep at it!

Please pay it forward by leaving a comment or review on another writer’s song.  Thanks!

June 28, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Graham Donahue

Thanks! I’ve got some good ideas on some ways I can improve it!

June 29, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Michael R. J. Roth

Sweet song dealing with a painful topic. Has a very old-fashioned feel, maybe would work in folk music circles. I agree that the music doesn’t seem to jibe with the topic, but I think if it’s from the perspective of being at peace with it because of your faith, it makes sense. Has a lullaby feel to it, but I would have a hard time singing it to my kid!

August 17, 2017

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Robert Lloyd

Hi Graham… this is tough. Lyrically, it is difficult for me to listen to a song about a man that stays with his wife that has been unfaithful. I don’t want to go further biblically as that is not what we are about in this forum.

Those are my feelings if that is of any help.

June 27, 2017

0

Phillip Lemmonds

Like Robert, I have conflicting feelings about the theme of the song, but if your faith is strong enough, go with it.

Word wise, watch your “but"s, “and"s and “that”‘s.  They are often used as “filler” words that don’t add anything to the song except melody timing.  If you removed them, does the meaning of the line change.  If it doesn’t, you need to rewrite the line.

The lyrics would be better written as:
My heart was broken when I got the news
That you were with another last night
Some say I should be packing my bags
So I can get out of sight

I have a Savior who gave me his all
I’ve been unfaithful, stumble and fall
But he never leaves though I’ve been untrue
Since he won’t leave me, I’ll never leave you

You get the idea…

Phillip

June 27, 2017

0

Brent Baxter

Hi, Graham!  Thanks for sharing your song.  It’s an interesting idea.  It’s challenging, though I agree with the premise.

I dig the idea, but maybe you shouldn’t just throw out “you cheated on my- LAST NIGHT.”  That’s really quick for him to just say, “Yep, I’m not leaving.”  I want to feel the PAIN.  That situation would be utterly heartbreaking, and the listener needs to FEEL that.  Melodically, I’m not feeling the pain.

Maybe you can drop the cheating thing for more general “we fight a lot.”  But the cheating thing IS a good parallel for how unfaithful we can be as Christians.

So, make it where they’re in the struggle of staying together or not- not a new, fresh infidelity, but one they’re in the muck of cleaning up, and he’s struggling.  And she wonders if he’s gonna leave (part of her thinking he should).

I think if it’s done right, it could be really cool.  Keep at it!

Please pay it forward by leaving a comment or review on another writer’s song.  Thanks!

June 28, 2017

0

Graham Donahue

Thanks! I’ve got some good ideas on some ways I can improve it!

June 29, 2017

0

Michael R. J. Roth

Sweet song dealing with a painful topic. Has a very old-fashioned feel, maybe would work in folk music circles. I agree that the music doesn’t seem to jibe with the topic, but I think if it’s from the perspective of being at peace with it because of your faith, it makes sense. Has a lullaby feel to it, but I would have a hard time singing it to my kid!

August 17, 2017


Since He Won’t Leave

Written by Graham Donahue

Since He Won't Leave Me

Verse 1:
My heart it was broken when I got the news
That you were with another last night.
And some say that I should be packing my bags
So that I can get out of sight.

Chorus:
But I have a Savior Who gave me His all
And I've been unfaithful and stumble and fall.
But He never leaves me though I've been untrue.
And since He won't leave me, I'll never leave you

Verse 2:
Oh I made a promise when I said, “ I do,”
To love you until death do us part.
I said I would love you for better or worse
Though sometimes it may break my heart.

Bridge:
Oh it won't be easy to keep loving you
But I have a Savior Who will get me through.

Chorus 2:
'Cause He is a Savior Who gave me His all
And I've been unfaithful and stumble and fall
But He never leaves me though I've been untrue
And since He won't leave me I'll never leave you

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