A cool rap song about a guy who lost his love, and decides to take a walk on the beach " ... no more part time and no more pain ... no more standing outside in the rain."
I look forward into all serious feedback.
“Playa” is Spanish for “beach”. And the idea was a double-entendre ... as you noted ... playa and player. Totally agree with you that the chorus should be shorter. Need time to work on the things, and there is precious little!
I do love Jeff’s style and his lyrics are cool. Need time!!
June 19, 2017
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WELL I TOOK THE PLAYA WALK
AND I AIN’T NEVER BEEN THE SAME
YES, I TOOK THE PLAYA WALK
AND I’M NOT STANDING IN THE RAIN NO MORE
THE SUN IS SHINING IN MY BONES
THE HEAT IS RISING THROUGH MY TOES
AND NOW I’M FREE TO SAVE MY SOUL
V1. She was the love of my life. She was all-world and every night
Had me feenin' for conversation and candlelight
I never seen it before, this womanism
Had me on a whole new page in this love rage
I never thought she had a hold on the kid though
Doing what I could to make all this love grow
Giving her my lifeline in her right mind
Hoping that God would grant us some sunshine
I did it all to make all of this worthwhile
Changing my player status and jumping the turnstile.
Rolling the red for her … I cared for her
Went out of my way in my mind I thought I was made for her.
I could have sworn that this loving would last long
It was a chess game and I was the last pawn
Every step of my love and intuition
It ain’t the same it’s a whole new ball game
Every time I breathe I think about it
I’m back to the basics, now I pray about it
There’s no more part time and no more pain
No more standing outside in the rain … you know what I did?
WELL I TOOK THE PLAYA WALK
AND I AIN’T NEVER BEEN THE SAME
YES, I TOOK THE PLAYA WALK
AND I’M NOT STANDING IN THE RAIN NO MORE
THE SUN IS SHINING IN MY BONES
THE HEAT IS RISING THROUGH MY TOES
AND NOW I’M FREE TO SAVE MY SOUL
V2. Being a player where you’re from you killed my appetite
Stopped me dead in my tracks clutched my chest a heart attack
Hypnotizing, tantalizing you made my soul just cry
As I looked into your eyes you made my nature rise
This was something strange and I needed some more
This is very very different for a brother hardcore
Who used to use and abuse, and use to shut ‘em down
Didn’t show my feelings ‘cause that was just for clowns
Your body language was loud and clear to me
How could I be wrong with evidence you see?
I checked your eyes, your lips, your lips to your hips
Your sensuous walk made my heart skip
How could I be wrong when it felt so right?
Confused and disillusioned can’t sleep at night, yo,
Somebody help me, somebody help me please
The pain so devastating It brought me down to my knees
I thought she was a gift, the gift gave me a twist I’m dropping a
Verse with this chorus to understand this trip … so you will know why I ..........
I TOOK THE PLAYA WALK
AND I AIN’T NEVER BEEN THE SAME
YES, I TOOK THE PLAYA WALK
AND I’M NOT STANDING IN THE RAIN NO MORE
THE SUN IS SHINING IN MY BONES
THE HEAT IS RISING THROUGH MY TOES
AND NOW I’M FREE TO SAVE MY SOUL
(No more … no, no no, no
I’m back into the basics. Now, I pray about it)
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Hey, Bob! Thanks for sharing. Now, I’m not a guy to be giving advice on a rap song, so take all this with a grain of salt.
My biggest question is in the chorus. Just reading the title, I thought “Playa” was like “player,” and “player walk” made sense to me. But the way it’s pronounced, it’s a different word. I’m confused. Might just a slang term I don’t know.
I like some of the lyrics, “jumped the turnstile” etc.
I think the chorus could be shorter. I think its length may kill some of the energy you’ve built in the verses. Yes, it’s good to have a release, but I think it goes a little too long.
I hope this is helpful. Please pay it forward by leaving a comment or review on another writer’s song. Thanks!
June 19, 2017
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“Playa” is Spanish for “beach”. And the idea was a double-entendre ... as you noted ... playa and player. Totally agree with you that the chorus should be shorter. Need time to work on the things, and there is precious little!
I do love Jeff’s style and his lyrics are cool. Need time!!
June 19, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Hey, Bob! Thanks for sharing. Now, I’m not a guy to be giving advice on a rap song, so take all this with a grain of salt.
My biggest question is in the chorus. Just reading the title, I thought “Playa” was like “player,” and “player walk” made sense to me. But the way it’s pronounced, it’s a different word. I’m confused. Might just a slang term I don’t know.
I like some of the lyrics, “jumped the turnstile” etc.
I think the chorus could be shorter. I think its length may kill some of the energy you’ve built in the verses. Yes, it’s good to have a release, but I think it goes a little too long.
I hope this is helpful. Please pay it forward by leaving a comment or review on another writer’s song. Thanks!
June 19, 2017
No members have liked this comment.