Right now, I'm working with singer-songwriter Scott Thorn (scottthorn.com) on developing the music. I'm thinking rock, but maybe it should be a different genre. " /> If Love Were A Machine - Lyric only by Michael R. J. Roth :: Frettie :: The Online Community For Songwriters
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If Love Were A Machine - Lyric only

Michael R. J. Roth

June 12, 2017

Genre: Rock

More by Michael R.


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About This Song


This is the first draft of a lyric for a song that was featured in The Climb podcast "Song Title Challenge." It was great hearing Brent and Johnny toss it around and hear how they develop a song idea. I thought folks might be interested in seeing the lyric I actually wrote.



Right now, I'm working with singer-songwriter Scott Thorn (scottthorn.com) on developing the music. I'm thinking rock, but maybe it should be a different genre.


2 Responses


Brent Baxter

Hey, Michael!  Wow, it’s so much fun to see these lyrics after playing with the title on the “Song Title Challenge!”

You definitely have some cool stuff going on here.  Now, Johnny and I looked at it as a country song, and I see you’ve taken a rock angle on it (so far).  It’s pretty dang DARK.  Which might work in rock.  I’d be scared of that angle in country, but it could work in rock.

Some cool images- alley, dirt, stab lines.  Like that you kept the machine stuff until the chorus.  Like where you went in verse 2- fleshing it out more.  Not sure about the direction of the bridge…

Overall, I’m not crazy about the character singing the song.  But it’s a rock thing, so that kind of attitude is probably fine.  Kinda depends on how aggressive the rock is, etc.  I like the twist at the end of the bridge.  Not sure if the bridge gets me there- maybe you could shorten the bridge to focus more on that idea.  Or maybe that idea doesn’t work with the character of the song.  Is this guy concerned if love could love him?  Not sure the tone is consistent.

Cool stuff going on.  I’d be interested to hear what the melody does for this lyric.  Please pay it forward by leaving feedback on another writer’s song.  Thanks!

June 13, 2017

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Michael R. J. Roth

Thanks for that great feedback. I, too, was a little concerned that the song might seem too dark and I will take another look at that. I tend to start out with more lyrics and then hone down. In this case, since I’m working with a co-writer, i like to give him some flexibility, and of course, the direction will hinge a great deal on the tune he comes up with. I was thinking rock because I didn’t think the title would work for country, but maybe that would be a better direction.

From the narrative angle, my thinking was that this is a guy who’s been hurt by love and wishes it could be something more predictable and under his control. So he’s coming from a wounded perspective. The key part of the bridge is “if love were a machine, would it love me,” which I think is necessary to tie the song together.  The original line/concept I had was, “if love were a machine, would it be love after all?” But i think you’re right about shortening it and tossing the darker parts. I have been hearing a lot of rough language in country lately, however. Still, it makes me think of your podcast about having that one line that kills the song, and this might be a good example of that.

Of course, there were a lot of other lines that got tossed along the way.

This is really helpful. It’s just a first draft, so the timing is perfect.

Thanks!

June 13, 2017


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Brent Baxter

Hey, Michael!  Wow, it’s so much fun to see these lyrics after playing with the title on the “Song Title Challenge!”

You definitely have some cool stuff going on here.  Now, Johnny and I looked at it as a country song, and I see you’ve taken a rock angle on it (so far).  It’s pretty dang DARK.  Which might work in rock.  I’d be scared of that angle in country, but it could work in rock.

Some cool images- alley, dirt, stab lines.  Like that you kept the machine stuff until the chorus.  Like where you went in verse 2- fleshing it out more.  Not sure about the direction of the bridge…

Overall, I’m not crazy about the character singing the song.  But it’s a rock thing, so that kind of attitude is probably fine.  Kinda depends on how aggressive the rock is, etc.  I like the twist at the end of the bridge.  Not sure if the bridge gets me there- maybe you could shorten the bridge to focus more on that idea.  Or maybe that idea doesn’t work with the character of the song.  Is this guy concerned if love could love him?  Not sure the tone is consistent.

Cool stuff going on.  I’d be interested to hear what the melody does for this lyric.  Please pay it forward by leaving feedback on another writer’s song.  Thanks!

June 13, 2017

1

Michael R. J. Roth

Thanks for that great feedback. I, too, was a little concerned that the song might seem too dark and I will take another look at that. I tend to start out with more lyrics and then hone down. In this case, since I’m working with a co-writer, i like to give him some flexibility, and of course, the direction will hinge a great deal on the tune he comes up with. I was thinking rock because I didn’t think the title would work for country, but maybe that would be a better direction.

From the narrative angle, my thinking was that this is a guy who’s been hurt by love and wishes it could be something more predictable and under his control. So he’s coming from a wounded perspective. The key part of the bridge is “if love were a machine, would it love me,” which I think is necessary to tie the song together.  The original line/concept I had was, “if love were a machine, would it be love after all?” But i think you’re right about shortening it and tossing the darker parts. I have been hearing a lot of rough language in country lately, however. Still, it makes me think of your podcast about having that one line that kills the song, and this might be a good example of that.

Of course, there were a lot of other lines that got tossed along the way.

This is really helpful. It’s just a first draft, so the timing is perfect.

Thanks!

June 13, 2017


If Love Were A Machine...

Written by Michael R. J. Roth

Some say love is kind
But others say it's cruel
It drags you down an alley
Just to see if you're a fool 
It treats you like an animal
And drags you through the dirt
And stabs you in the back
Just to see if it will hurt

Chorus:
But if love were a machine
I could polish it and shine it
I could climb up to the sky
Or maybe cruise on down the highway
I could slide my hands along its chrome
And have a love I call my own
It wouldn't call me sinner
I wouldn't have to buy it dinner
All I would need is gasoline
If love were a machine

And when I got the urge
I could feel its power surge
See it glisten in the sun
And maybe junk it when I'm done
I could keep a few spare parts
Just to fix the broken hearts
Left behind me in the dust
Before the rain turns them to rust

Chorus: Yeah, if love were a machine... 

Bridge:
Love is such a bitch
It will never make me rich
It breaks my heart
And makes me oh so mean
It rips away my mask
And then it makes me ask 
If love were a machine
Would it love me? 

(Chorus)

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