A story about a couple who used to walk in the rain and after they break up he remembers her every time it rains.
Please feel free to comment about anything and thank you for your time and feedback.
Hi David, rain, rain, rain is all over the place in this song. I don’t want to see you drown this idea out of it’s potential journey.
Straight up, the title, the theme and subject matter are a done did deal already. Sad, I know. Also, It doesn’t shine a positive light on from any singer’s POV. Maybe the words Your love was wonderful in line 3 of your first verse.
I grew up with music around me from all genres. I even got bit by Whitesnake in the early 80s. Here’s there version of Crying In The Rain.
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/whitesnake/cryingintherain.html
Those Invisible, Hidden Tears, I haven’t been there in years. I do remember crying in the rain but not over a heartache. Try coming at the sad situation from another POV. Jot down some keywords about tears. Increase the tempo and make it a happy sad song and make it fun. Like I got a brand new girlfriend.
I hope my POV is helpful to YOU. Thanks for sharing your songs David. I enjoyed listening and reading your lyrics.
Happy Songwriting ♫♪
June 09, 2017
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We used to hold hands walk between the raindrops
When you left I lost the love of my life
Your love was wonderful why did it stop?
Missing you again walking in the rain.
Pre-CHROUS
Wish we were together but it’s all in vain
I guess I’ll just blame it on the rain
CHORUS
Crying in the rain, crying in the rain
No one can tell when you’re crying in the rain.
Crying in the rain crying in the rain
No one can tell when you’re crying in the rain.
I walked until I stood on your wet street
My crazy thoughts say knock on your door
Maybe things would change if you see me again.
But I don’t think you love me anymore
CHORUS
I realize I gave you everything, my all
You let go poured our love down the drain
My heart breaks every time the raindrops fall
Why can’t I stop walking in the rain?
Pre-CHORUS
CHORUS
OUTRO: Nobody can know someone else’s pain
No one can tell when you’re crying in the rain. ( Jeff missed this line in the Take )
© 2017 Lyrics by David A. Pritchett
© 2017 Music by Jeff Wisnom
Singer: Jeff Wisnom
1
I really like the idea in this song about not seeing the tears. I think you need to change the second line in the chorus as it takes away from the payoff in the last line.
Don’t know if you planned it this way or not, but you changed rhyme schemes between the first and second verses. You went from ABAC to ABCB. I always prefer the latter as it’s more pleasing to the ear.
Most of your verse lines have 10 syllables, except the very first line. Not that it’s a bad thing, but the opening line sets the stage for the rest of the song.
Again, I really like the payoff line!
Phillip
June 09, 2017
0
Hi David, rain, rain, rain is all over the place in this song. I don’t want to see you drown this idea out of it’s potential journey.
Straight up, the title, the theme and subject matter are a done did deal already. Sad, I know. Also, It doesn’t shine a positive light on from any singer’s POV. Maybe the words Your love was wonderful in line 3 of your first verse.
I grew up with music around me from all genres. I even got bit by Whitesnake in the early 80s. Here’s there version of Crying In The Rain.
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/whitesnake/cryingintherain.html
Those Invisible, Hidden Tears, I haven’t been there in years. I do remember crying in the rain but not over a heartache. Try coming at the sad situation from another POV. Jot down some keywords about tears. Increase the tempo and make it a happy sad song and make it fun. Like I got a brand new girlfriend.
I hope my POV is helpful to YOU. Thanks for sharing your songs David. I enjoyed listening and reading your lyrics.
Happy Songwriting ♫♪
June 09, 2017
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Phillip Lemmonds
I really like the idea in this song about not seeing the tears. I think you need to change the second line in the chorus as it takes away from the payoff in the last line.
Don’t know if you planned it this way or not, but you changed rhyme schemes between the first and second verses. You went from ABAC to ABCB. I always prefer the latter as it’s more pleasing to the ear.
Most of your verse lines have 10 syllables, except the very first line. Not that it’s a bad thing, but the opening line sets the stage for the rest of the song.
Again, I really like the payoff line!
Phillip
June 09, 2017