A hard working Farmer who still make time for his wife/girlfriend. Track by Brian Jensen
suppose to be fun, is this not commercial due to people not being able to connect with having a farmer man, what are your thoughts on demo, vocals?
I’ll add, I know you said this was only for fun, but writing better “fun” songs makes writing better “commercial” songs easier. Sounds like you’ve got a pretty good track person!
Phillip
May 20, 2017
Thanks Phillip and Jeffrey. Thank Phillip the track man did an awesome job with this track, he is great!:)
May 21, 2017
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put my red dress on get gussied up
I reckon he'll take us in the rusted truck
my farmer man with his britches on
gonna dance the clod-hoppers til the break of dawn
chorus
swinging me high
swinging me low
cha cha slide
which way to go (no-do-si-do)
two step
my farmer man
repeat
my farmer ma-an
on the floor he's plowing fields
he's smooth around the edges
working hard on his heels
he's fixin to get his groove on
I'm watching his moves til the night is done
Chorus
Bridge
Muscle blood
sweat tears
working his back all these years
from 5-9 milking cows
plowing fields
still knows how to take a lady out
farmer's tan
callused hands
everything your looking for a manly man
a hankerin for a honky tonk time
move on over this man is mine
chorus
1
Not trying to tell you how to write your songs, but you’ve got too many syllables in several of the lines. Too many throws the melody off and hurries the line, some of which I can’t understand without reading the lyrics.
If I were writing this, it might go something like:
Put my red dress on, get gussied up
Reckon he’ll take me in the rusted truck
My farmer man with his britches on
We gonna clod-hop till the break of dawn
You go from the current syllable count of 9-12-9-12 to 9-10-9-10.
Whatever syllable count is in the first verse, all other verses need to stay the same format.
My thoughts…
Phillip
May 20, 2017
1
I’ll add, I know you said this was only for fun, but writing better “fun” songs makes writing better “commercial” songs easier. Sounds like you’ve got a pretty good track person!
Phillip
May 20, 2017
0
Thanks Phillip and Jeffrey. Thank Phillip the track man did an awesome job with this track, he is great!:)
May 21, 2017
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Phillip Lemmonds
Not trying to tell you how to write your songs, but you’ve got too many syllables in several of the lines. Too many throws the melody off and hurries the line, some of which I can’t understand without reading the lyrics.
If I were writing this, it might go something like:
Put my red dress on, get gussied up
Reckon he’ll take me in the rusted truck
My farmer man with his britches on
We gonna clod-hop till the break of dawn
You go from the current syllable count of 9-12-9-12 to 9-10-9-10.
Whatever syllable count is in the first verse, all other verses need to stay the same format.
My thoughts…
Phillip
May 20, 2017