co-written with Dave Sanford, Dan Smith and Pete Pulkabrek.
I wrote this at a time when I was not the biggest fan of myself and the idea that I didn't want to be anyone else's dark cloud. It'd be better to walk on by rather than try to fix me.
My apologies as the song isn't sung exactly as written as this was a demo recording and our singer strayed off a bit
Hey Sean -
I appreciate the feedback. wrote this with a band i was in years back, Delilah Why. David, is a phenomenal singer/musician. I love what he does.
You’re spot on with the feedback on the chorus. i always thought the same thing and yes…basically telling anyone that if i were you i’d just keep on walking.
May 21, 2017
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I remember only feeling lonely
Wearing out that down side of pride
Counting all my worries by the sea
Wondering how they cut so easily
Only watch my life pass with the changing tide
Oh but these lines have cut so deep
They show the years that have weathered me
No don’t you work on me
Lord knows I’m just a tragedy
Said no don’t you waste your time
See the moment, just pass me and I would
Walk on by
Just walk on by
She was a sad tale of a beauty queen
Once the proudest woman that you ever did see
But with her eyes fixed on her past, gazed in disbelief
How could a faith in something so beautiful leave her feeling so empty
And these lines on her face trace the tears
And the weathering of a lifetime is from years and years and years
She said No don’t you work on me
Lord knows I’m just a tragedy
Oh no don’t you waste your time
See the moment, just pass me and I would
Walk on by
Just walk on by
Now all our lives have gotten deep
They show the fears and the secrets everybody's trying to keep
Everybody's trying to keep
Oh no, don't you work on me
Lord knows I'm just a tragedy
Oh no don't you waste your time
See the moment, just pass me and I would
Walk on by
Just walk on by
Just walk on by
0
Hey Bill,
I really like this song. I dig the sound (very old school southern rock) and the demo singer is amazing! The subject is relatable too.
Couple thoughts lyrically: The chorus feels like you are talking directly to someone - telling them to just walk on by but then the last line says “I would walk on by”. I think your meaning is “if I was you, I’d just walk on by” but I’m not sure that comes across perfectly. The simple thing would be to just take the word “I” out - however, the way your singer phrased it the “I” rhymes with both “time” and “by” and was really pleasing to my ear the way he did that. So, I’m not sure what the fix would be.
The other thing I was thinking was that the lines on her face don’t really trace the tears - it would be the other way around. Perhaps a better line would be “the lines on her face guide the tears”??? Just a thought…
Overall, really good man!
May 16, 2017
0
Hey Sean -
I appreciate the feedback. wrote this with a band i was in years back, Delilah Why. David, is a phenomenal singer/musician. I love what he does.
You’re spot on with the feedback on the chorus. i always thought the same thing and yes…basically telling anyone that if i were you i’d just keep on walking.
May 21, 2017
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Sean Kasey
Hey Bill,
I really like this song. I dig the sound (very old school southern rock) and the demo singer is amazing! The subject is relatable too.
Couple thoughts lyrically: The chorus feels like you are talking directly to someone - telling them to just walk on by but then the last line says “I would walk on by”. I think your meaning is “if I was you, I’d just walk on by” but I’m not sure that comes across perfectly. The simple thing would be to just take the word “I” out - however, the way your singer phrased it the “I” rhymes with both “time” and “by” and was really pleasing to my ear the way he did that. So, I’m not sure what the fix would be.
The other thing I was thinking was that the lines on her face don’t really trace the tears - it would be the other way around. Perhaps a better line would be “the lines on her face guide the tears”??? Just a thought…
Overall, really good man!
May 16, 2017
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