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Heaven Let Her Out

Brian Blevins

May 11, 2017

Genre: Country

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About This Song


song about coming of age and lost love i suppose.

Feedback Requested


do the lyrics make sense? how about the hook? any good? does the song flow well lyrically from the last line of v2 and v4 (spotlights) into chorus? does the chorus feel new or were you still into it (assuming u were into it) the 2nd time around?







trying to take an overused idea and make it something different.







no need to tell me i am not a good singer. i know that for sure.







i will tweak the melody on the end of the words "round' and 'town' in v1 and v3 to be one note and not go down to lower notes like i sang it here.


12 Responses


Brian Blevins

forgot to add i still have a couple licks to lay down here and there to fill in some dead spots like at the end.  once i get it the way in want it i plan to find a real singer for the demo.

May 11, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Phillip Lemmonds

Welcome to Frettie!

I really like the music, but try singing the lyrics leaving out the words “just” and “that”.  As writers, we insert little fillers to make the cadence come out right, but they really don’t add anything to the meaning of the line.  Sometimes, it actually sounds better by dropping these filler words.

It’s really not bad, so keep writing!

Phillip

May 11, 2017

Ronnie Glenn

I love this title Brian. I agree with Phillip on the filler words but sometimes they’re necessary. I think you can make that hook a lot stronger. You have some breathing room there. It didn’t grab me enough, kind of left me hanging.

You sing the chorus twice after the 4th verse based on this structure. Really no need for that there. Jump right into that music break. You bridge could be shorten imo. Ending it with the line “It ain’t no ordinary sky” would work well back into the chorus again.

Just suggestions… hope it helps.

Thanks for sharing, Happy Songwriting ♫♪ ♪

May 11, 2017

Brian Blevins

Hi Philip/Ronnie,

That makes complete sense to me.  It will definitely be a better song without those words.

Ronnie I used a Top-Tier country artist’s song as a ‘template’ for this song.  I want the listener to know that this ‘angel’ saved me and earned her wings.  but i also wanted to say that although it was short lived, i got something out of the relationship in that i learned how to love and was set free from whatever i thought was holding me back.

.Thanks guy
Brian

May 12, 2017

Richard Kirk

Hey Brian, I concur with what a lot of what has been said here.  Love the title/idea but could be a little stronger somehow. Your 3rd &4th; verse back story is necessary, but “she” is not mentioned until the last line of the 4th verse. As so many of my tutors say all the time, every line should lead/ be connected to the title, and I think you get away from that a little.  But, you do have a good idea here, stay with it
Ric K.

May 13, 2017

Brian Blevins

Thanks Richard.

‘She’ is only mentioned in the choruses and the bridge.  i do say ‘her’ at the end of v2 and v4 in an attempt to get to the choruses.  the verses are mainly about the singer and the choruses are about the girl and that she saved me.

i know what you mean about the idea needing to be stronger.  i think the hook needs work.  first though i am gonna toss in some guitars licks in those dead spots like in the middle of the second chorus to see if that gives it the lift it needs or at least maintains the energy and again at the end. 

thanks for your help
brian

May 13, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Phillip Lemmonds

A suggestion regarding your last post, don’t try to cover up a songs weakness with music, especially in the country genre.  Country music is lyric driven, and a good country song can be sung a cappella and still be good.

I grew up with 70s/80s rock music, which was music driven.  Heavy drumbeats and loud guitars.  Hell, I couldn’t understand a lot of the lyrics they were singing because of the music.  But not in country… it won’t work.

Phillip

May 16, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Brian Blevins

thanks Philip

i think i am going to go back to just the acoustic guitar and sing along again to simplify in order to try to strengthen the song more. 

i think my micheal schenker and other rock influences are showing too much here.

brian

May 16, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Sean Kasey

Hey Brian and welcome to Frettie!

Firstly, cool song!  I do agree with most of the previous discussion so won’t rehash any of that.

Secondly, I was reminded as I was listening of the advice about writing commercial country songs that goes something like “sing what every girl wants to hear and what every guy wants to say” - basically make it personally connect with the listener.  One really solid way to do this would be to make the perspective first person direct.  “Heaven let YOU out”.  That way the singer is singing directly to the girl instead of about her.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool the way it is, but that might give it even more commercial appeal.  Just a thought - do with it what you will.

Keep it up!

May 17, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Brian Blevins

thanks sean.

i started off with You and changed it to Her.

now that i have the song where it is, i took your advice and went back to You.  it is better with You.  the bridge is definitely better that way:

when it was time to say goodbye
you said we’d always have that night
and every star is just a wish
in waiting
now when i see the moon up high
it ain’t no ordinary sky
just reminders of the love
you gave me

i want to do some ‘ad lib’ at the end to break up the monotony.  prob some about cashing in on one of those stars/wishes.

i also think just repeating the title after C1 is what is missing from the hook.  will try that out too.

brian

May 18, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Sean Kasey

Cool man, glad I could help.  Good luck with it!

May 18, 2017

No members have liked this comment.

Jackson Lucas

Hey Brian,

I like the song quite a bit.
Could not figure out the Michael Schenker influence on the song about your dad (dug the pedal steel on that one though) but think I hear it on this one. Keep rocking, man, plenty of country songs with power chords!

Comments above are on the money, I think. You are unsure of the vocal so you instinctively pull back, and it sounds to me a bit indifferent. Try to get it a bit more to the front, with some more emotion. It may work, I don’t know.

Or go the opposite direction for a fuller rock vibe (I call it the Status Quo way) with a wall of guitar sound… see what works and brings your strengths to the fore. Hope this helps. Jack

May 26, 2017

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0

Brian Blevins

forgot to add i still have a couple licks to lay down here and there to fill in some dead spots like at the end.  once i get it the way in want it i plan to find a real singer for the demo.

May 11, 2017

1

Phillip Lemmonds

Welcome to Frettie!

I really like the music, but try singing the lyrics leaving out the words “just” and “that”.  As writers, we insert little fillers to make the cadence come out right, but they really don’t add anything to the meaning of the line.  Sometimes, it actually sounds better by dropping these filler words.

It’s really not bad, so keep writing!

Phillip

May 11, 2017

1

Ronnie Glenn

I love this title Brian. I agree with Phillip on the filler words but sometimes they’re necessary. I think you can make that hook a lot stronger. You have some breathing room there. It didn’t grab me enough, kind of left me hanging.

You sing the chorus twice after the 4th verse based on this structure. Really no need for that there. Jump right into that music break. You bridge could be shorten imo. Ending it with the line “It ain’t no ordinary sky” would work well back into the chorus again.

Just suggestions… hope it helps.

Thanks for sharing, Happy Songwriting ♫♪ ♪

May 11, 2017

1

Brian Blevins

Hi Philip/Ronnie,

That makes complete sense to me.  It will definitely be a better song without those words.

Ronnie I used a Top-Tier country artist’s song as a ‘template’ for this song.  I want the listener to know that this ‘angel’ saved me and earned her wings.  but i also wanted to say that although it was short lived, i got something out of the relationship in that i learned how to love and was set free from whatever i thought was holding me back.

.Thanks guy
Brian

May 12, 2017

1

Richard Kirk

Hey Brian, I concur with what a lot of what has been said here.  Love the title/idea but could be a little stronger somehow. Your 3rd &4th; verse back story is necessary, but “she” is not mentioned until the last line of the 4th verse. As so many of my tutors say all the time, every line should lead/ be connected to the title, and I think you get away from that a little.  But, you do have a good idea here, stay with it
Ric K.

May 13, 2017

0

Brian Blevins

Thanks Richard.

‘She’ is only mentioned in the choruses and the bridge.  i do say ‘her’ at the end of v2 and v4 in an attempt to get to the choruses.  the verses are mainly about the singer and the choruses are about the girl and that she saved me.

i know what you mean about the idea needing to be stronger.  i think the hook needs work.  first though i am gonna toss in some guitars licks in those dead spots like in the middle of the second chorus to see if that gives it the lift it needs or at least maintains the energy and again at the end. 

thanks for your help
brian

May 13, 2017

0

Phillip Lemmonds

A suggestion regarding your last post, don’t try to cover up a songs weakness with music, especially in the country genre.  Country music is lyric driven, and a good country song can be sung a cappella and still be good.

I grew up with 70s/80s rock music, which was music driven.  Heavy drumbeats and loud guitars.  Hell, I couldn’t understand a lot of the lyrics they were singing because of the music.  But not in country… it won’t work.

Phillip

May 16, 2017

0

Brian Blevins

thanks Philip

i think i am going to go back to just the acoustic guitar and sing along again to simplify in order to try to strengthen the song more. 

i think my micheal schenker and other rock influences are showing too much here.

brian

May 16, 2017

0

Sean Kasey

Hey Brian and welcome to Frettie!

Firstly, cool song!  I do agree with most of the previous discussion so won’t rehash any of that.

Secondly, I was reminded as I was listening of the advice about writing commercial country songs that goes something like “sing what every girl wants to hear and what every guy wants to say” - basically make it personally connect with the listener.  One really solid way to do this would be to make the perspective first person direct.  “Heaven let YOU out”.  That way the singer is singing directly to the girl instead of about her.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool the way it is, but that might give it even more commercial appeal.  Just a thought - do with it what you will.

Keep it up!

May 17, 2017

0

Brian Blevins

thanks sean.

i started off with You and changed it to Her.

now that i have the song where it is, i took your advice and went back to You.  it is better with You.  the bridge is definitely better that way:

when it was time to say goodbye
you said we’d always have that night
and every star is just a wish
in waiting
now when i see the moon up high
it ain’t no ordinary sky
just reminders of the love
you gave me

i want to do some ‘ad lib’ at the end to break up the monotony.  prob some about cashing in on one of those stars/wishes.

i also think just repeating the title after C1 is what is missing from the hook.  will try that out too.

brian

May 18, 2017

0

Sean Kasey

Cool man, glad I could help.  Good luck with it!

May 18, 2017

0

Jackson Lucas

Hey Brian,

I like the song quite a bit.
Could not figure out the Michael Schenker influence on the song about your dad (dug the pedal steel on that one though) but think I hear it on this one. Keep rocking, man, plenty of country songs with power chords!

Comments above are on the money, I think. You are unsure of the vocal so you instinctively pull back, and it sounds to me a bit indifferent. Try to get it a bit more to the front, with some more emotion. It may work, I don’t know.

Or go the opposite direction for a fuller rock vibe (I call it the Status Quo way) with a wall of guitar sound… see what works and brings your strengths to the fore. Hope this helps. Jack

May 26, 2017


Heaven Let Her Out

Written by Brian Blevins

summer love at the county fair
got this good ole boy spinnin' round
on an endless ride of open air
i floated through the clouds

i saw the stars in her eyes glimmer
the moon's reflection in her smile shimmer
i thought heaven must have opened up
and let her out

heaven let her out
to rescue me
she turned this boy around
and she earned her wings
a boy became a man
on the night
heaven let her out

believed that i couldn't go nowhere
in this one red light podunk town
there was a time i thought i had a prayer
then the mill shut down

i went headfirst on a downhill slide
the roller coaster was too slow to ride
then heaven opened up its doors
and let her out

heaven let her out
to rescue me
she turned this boy around
and she earned her wings
a boy became a man
on the night
heaven let her out

heaven let her out
and she rescued me
she showed me how to love
then she set me free
a boy became a man
on the night
heaven let her out

bridge

when it was time to say goodbye
she said we'd always have that night
and every star is just a wish
in waiting
now when i see the moon up high
it ain't no ordinary sky
just reminders of the love
she gave me

heaven let her out
to rescue me
she turned this boy around
and she earned her wings
a boy became a man
on the night
heaven let her out

heaven let her out
and she rescued me
she showed me how to love
then she set me free
a boy became a man
on the night
heaven let her out

oh heaven can you let her out one more time?
this boy's now a man
and tonight i need her out

© 2017 Brian Blevins, all rights reserved

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