I spent several years in prison ministry, leading worship and doing concerts "inside the walls" in several large correctional facilities in Colorado ... This song is written to those who are struggling with a personal demon (whatever it might be) to offer encouragement ... simple guitar/vocal ...
feedback is always appreciated ...
1) I liked it! A lot in this song to like, imho.
2) VERY nice job on guitar!!!
2) Wind the song up a little more strongly/rmphatically:
“The last line 3x” is one small formula for ending of songs like this one:
A) He’ll lift you up [Fm7] and carry [Cm7] you home [Bflat sus7] [Bflat7]
On healing wings… [Cm7] [Gm7] [F7]
B) He’ll lift you up [Fm7] and carry[Gm7] you home
On healing [Cm7] wings… [A half dim 7 = A C Eflat G]
[this second time, change the melody a little, often melody will get higher and more impassioned)
C) He wants to lift you up [Fm7] and carry you home [Bflat sus7] [wait]
On healing wings [Eflat, no 3rd, add7]… [this third and last line, soften the line up, both vocally and instrumentally, slow the line down (ritard) and pause before “on healing wings” (with nice chord on the last word)
Hope this made some sense—would be easier to explain if we were in the same room! HA! [If I could email you, could include recorded example of the last few measures.
Anyway, best wishes in all your songwriting endeavors—I do think you have a nice talent there!
August 08, 2018
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I know sometimes you feel down hearted
Like you’re livin’ in a tunnel
With no light at the end…
You’re travelin’ a rocky road
Carryin a heavy load
It seems no matter where ya go
You’re all alone again
Knockin on every door, searchin’ for the way out
Just be still and listen
You’ll hear God’s Spirit shout…
There is a love higher than the mountains
There is a love that cannot be denied
There is one Lover no other
Who can teach your heart to sing
And He’ll lift you up and carry you home
On healing wings…
Searchin’ for days of wine and roses
You lived thru whiskey nightmares
And broken hearted dreams…
Reached the end a thousand times
Kept runnin’ out of rope
Two steps up, three steps back
On the devil’s slippery slope
Pushing on the pull door, tryin’ to win the race
All ya need to do is surrender
To feel the fullness of God’s grace
There is a love higher than the mountains
There is a love that cannot be denied
There is one Lover no other
Who can teach your heart to sing
And He’ll lift you up and carry you home
On healing wings…
(X2)
1
Hey, Gregg! Thanks for sharing. I love that you’re writing something to help someone through a dark time. I’m glad to see you left the negative (struggle) stuff in the verses and kept the chorus all positive.
I don’t have much to say, other than I like it. It’s put together well. I like the title.
One thing, though… do you need to add a bridge or 3rd verse or outro or something that is kinda the altar call? The “give your life to Jesus” moment? I think that might be beneficial to the song- to give it a resolution.
I hope that helps! Please pay it forward by commenting on another writer’s song. Thanks!
May 08, 2017
0
1) I liked it! A lot in this song to like, imho.
2) VERY nice job on guitar!!!
2) Wind the song up a little more strongly/rmphatically:
“The last line 3x” is one small formula for ending of songs like this one:
A) He’ll lift you up [Fm7] and carry [Cm7] you home [Bflat sus7] [Bflat7]
On healing wings… [Cm7] [Gm7] [F7]
B) He’ll lift you up [Fm7] and carry[Gm7] you home
On healing [Cm7] wings… [A half dim 7 = A C Eflat G]
[this second time, change the melody a little, often melody will get higher and more impassioned)
C) He wants to lift you up [Fm7] and carry you home [Bflat sus7] [wait]
On healing wings [Eflat, no 3rd, add7]… [this third and last line, soften the line up, both vocally and instrumentally, slow the line down (ritard) and pause before “on healing wings” (with nice chord on the last word)
Hope this made some sense—would be easier to explain if we were in the same room! HA! [If I could email you, could include recorded example of the last few measures.
Anyway, best wishes in all your songwriting endeavors—I do think you have a nice talent there!
August 08, 2018
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Hey, Gregg! Thanks for sharing. I love that you’re writing something to help someone through a dark time. I’m glad to see you left the negative (struggle) stuff in the verses and kept the chorus all positive.
I don’t have much to say, other than I like it. It’s put together well. I like the title.
One thing, though… do you need to add a bridge or 3rd verse or outro or something that is kinda the altar call? The “give your life to Jesus” moment? I think that might be beneficial to the song- to give it a resolution.
I hope that helps! Please pay it forward by commenting on another writer’s song. Thanks!
May 08, 2017