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Off Of You

Jayne Sachs

April 25, 2017

Genre: Country

More by Jayne


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Hit songwriter reveals how to write songs that artists want to cut!

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4 Responses


CJ Marsicano

This is well-written in general, but sometimes the chord sequence seems a shade repetitive. You should consider writing a bridge with a different chord sequence to break things up.

April 26, 2017

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Brent Baxter

I dig the line “wearing your bad day.”  Nice.  I really like the thought of the song.  I like the (I do) in the “I love you (I do)” chorus line.  I like how it turns to “you can take your mind off of you.”  Well done.

I’m glad you went deeper than just “you’re hot and I can’t take my eyes and hands off’a you and I wanna take your clothes off’a you.”  Yeah, it goes there, but in the 2nd verse, not the chorus.  It’s more love than sex.

I like it.  Nice work!

Please pay it forward by leaving a comment or review on someone else’s song.  Thanks!

April 28, 2017

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Jayne Sachs

Thank you CJ and Brent!  I appreciate your detailed feedback Brent. We definitely wanted it to be more about love… so I’m glad you caught the vibe of it.  Thanks so much!

April 29, 2017

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Dave Quirk

What a great twist to that title….yet another great song from you Jayne!

May 02, 2017

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0

CJ Marsicano

This is well-written in general, but sometimes the chord sequence seems a shade repetitive. You should consider writing a bridge with a different chord sequence to break things up.

April 26, 2017

0

Brent Baxter

I dig the line “wearing your bad day.”  Nice.  I really like the thought of the song.  I like the (I do) in the “I love you (I do)” chorus line.  I like how it turns to “you can take your mind off of you.”  Well done.

I’m glad you went deeper than just “you’re hot and I can’t take my eyes and hands off’a you and I wanna take your clothes off’a you.”  Yeah, it goes there, but in the 2nd verse, not the chorus.  It’s more love than sex.

I like it.  Nice work!

Please pay it forward by leaving a comment or review on someone else’s song.  Thanks!

April 28, 2017

0

Jayne Sachs

Thank you CJ and Brent!  I appreciate your detailed feedback Brent. We definitely wanted it to be more about love… so I’m glad you caught the vibe of it.  Thanks so much!

April 29, 2017

0

Dave Quirk

What a great twist to that title….yet another great song from you Jayne!

May 02, 2017


Off of You
Joey Ebach, Jayne Sachs
04.14.17

Pouring rain you walk in soaking wet
Drop your purse and look away
Tears mixin' with mascara down your face
Oh girl, it's like you're wearing your bad day

You hide your blue eyes and try to sneak past me 
But you know you can’t get nothing past me 
I grab your hand pull you in     
You say don't look at me like this, but girl

CH
I can’t take my eyes off of you 
Even when that smile's come off of you
I can lift this burden off of you 
Whisper in your ear, I love you, I do 
Let me kiss that lipstick off of you 
Tell me what you want that's what I'll do
I’ll put my loving hands all over you
So you can take your mind off of you 
You can take your mind off of you

Yeah the storm got you good you're a mess
Let me help, you ain’t gotta ask
I'll grab a towel and wrap you up real fast
How bout we dry your tears while we're at it

And If you wanna get out of that wet dress
I know a place where we can go get
Under the sheets if that’s what you need 
I’ll give you what you need, cuz 

CH

Let me help it all melt off of you 
You can stay right here until you move 
All of me is what I offer you, cuz

CH

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