My attempt to write a sexy song and BRING SEXY BACK!
Especially on productino
Hey, Ronald! I like that you’re going for sexy with some groove/tempo. I dig the title, too. I think you can “write to the title” a little more, though.
Try making it more about how her night is going nowhere… maybe he’s watched her watching her phone for the call that never came from the guy that didn’t show. Well, the singer is here to save the night. Maybe she’s getting hit on by a bunch of other guys, and he can tell she’s annoyed and about to bail. But he’s about to swoop in and save the night.
But that’s probably not real sexy. But it might still fit the groove you have going. Just make sure you paint the picture. Don’t just tell us about her night- SHOW us her night.
Just my $0.02. God bless!
March 26, 2017
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TO SAVE THE NIGHT (VOCAL)
By Happy Ron Hill
Strum: D C U (U D U)
1 + 2 + 3 + 4 +
You say you’ve always been shy
Don't want another night alone
You say you need someone to read your mind
You say you’ve never bIN led
Your needs have never been fed
I say we just have to cross the line
To save the Nah(ee)(t)
To save the Nah(ee)(t)
Will it take a little hope
Will it a little stroke
To Save The Night
You say you never can unwind
And hate to always be afraid
I say can you imagine what you'll find?
You say that every night the seh(ee)m
Some day you wanna make the cheh(ee)ng
I say you need to see that nows the time.
To save the night
To save the night
Will it take a little trUHst
Shake off a little rust
To save the night
The light may seem to shine to bright
But you won’t get burned
You might let down your guard tonight
But I think you'll learn that...
To save the night
To save the nt.. eye.. ight
it will take a little luck
it will take little ... tuck
To save the night
And make you mine
0
Hey Ronald, I like the Jazzy Blues/Rock feel of this song. Lyrically, it could be structured (condensed) to visually see the complete rhyme structure as well during your verses. Your melody is interesting but not sultry enough for me to feel that vibe.
Moving the chorus in a different direction each time is risky. Keeping something familiar to the listener keeps them engaged. Why is this person trying to save the night?
Also, when posting lyric sheets there’s no need to put words like this Nah(ee)(t) to show how it sounds if that’s what you were indicating.
Thanks for sharing.
March 24, 2017
0
Hey, Ronald! I like that you’re going for sexy with some groove/tempo. I dig the title, too. I think you can “write to the title” a little more, though.
Try making it more about how her night is going nowhere… maybe he’s watched her watching her phone for the call that never came from the guy that didn’t show. Well, the singer is here to save the night. Maybe she’s getting hit on by a bunch of other guys, and he can tell she’s annoyed and about to bail. But he’s about to swoop in and save the night.
But that’s probably not real sexy. But it might still fit the groove you have going. Just make sure you paint the picture. Don’t just tell us about her night- SHOW us her night.
Just my $0.02. God bless!
March 26, 2017
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Ronnie Glenn
Hey Ronald, I like the Jazzy Blues/Rock feel of this song. Lyrically, it could be structured (condensed) to visually see the complete rhyme structure as well during your verses. Your melody is interesting but not sultry enough for me to feel that vibe.
Moving the chorus in a different direction each time is risky. Keeping something familiar to the listener keeps them engaged. Why is this person trying to save the night?
Also, when posting lyric sheets there’s no need to put words like this Nah(ee)(t) to show how it sounds if that’s what you were indicating.
Thanks for sharing.
March 24, 2017
No members have liked this comment.