A song about how a girl is like a wildfire in that she's beautiful but also dangerous.
Just one note about the lyric sheet: I'm not all that familiar with formatting lyric sheets yet so hopefully it's formatted correctly!
Any feedback would be appreciated.
I've sent this into a contest and also used it for an application, both of which didn't provide detailed feedback on what needed improvement.
Would really like to know how I could make it better.
@Brent
Thanks so much for taking the time to listen and give feedback! I really appreciate your thoughts, they definitely help!
March 07, 2017
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INTRO:
Woah, woah, woah, woah
VERSE:
Well there's just something about her
That lures you in like a moth to a light
But get to close and she'll burn you
Yeah she's dark clouds on the horizon
You know the storm's comin' yet you stay outside
Thinkin' you can handle the heat
PRE-CHORUS:
But woah
Be careful of that spark
Cause woah
She'll set fire to your heart
CHORUS:
She's a raging inferno
Blazing in the dark
She goes blaring down her own road
If you get in her way, she'll burn up your heart
You can try your best to tame her
If that's what you desire
Just know you're flirting with danger
Cause after all that girl's a wildfire
And you can't tame a wildfire
(REPEAT INTRO)
VERSE:
She's got the soul of a gypsy
Her heart's a wild mustang
Born to run fast, free, and fearless
When the wind blows through her hair
It brings her to life yeah it's gonna take more
Than water to put out her flames
(REPEAT PRE-CHORUS AND CHORUS)
BRIDGE:
Oh yeah
Woah, woah, woah, woah
HALF-CHORUS:
She's a raging inferno
Blazing in the dark
She goes blaring down her own road
If you get in her way, she'll burn up your heart
Get in her way, she'll burn up your
(REPEAT CHORUS)
OUTRO:
woah, woah, woah, woah
0
Hey, Katie! Thanks for sharing your song with us! The lyric formatting looks fine to me. I like that you’ve written this as an uptempo song. Tempo is generally much more commercial. I like the “woah woah” parts.
I think what’s missing for me is… it feels (lyrically) that you’re writing about someone you made up. This girl doesn’t seem quite real. I need a few little details that anchor her in reality, that make me go “yeah, that rings true.” Something that’s maybe not metaphorical, but literal. I think you have some room for that if you replace some of the non-wildfire metaphors.
Overall, there’s some good stuff going on here. Uptempo, good structure, etc. Hope that helps!
March 06, 2017
0
@Brent
Thanks so much for taking the time to listen and give feedback! I really appreciate your thoughts, they definitely help!
March 07, 2017
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Brent Baxter
Hey, Katie! Thanks for sharing your song with us! The lyric formatting looks fine to me. I like that you’ve written this as an uptempo song. Tempo is generally much more commercial. I like the “woah woah” parts.
I think what’s missing for me is… it feels (lyrically) that you’re writing about someone you made up. This girl doesn’t seem quite real. I need a few little details that anchor her in reality, that make me go “yeah, that rings true.” Something that’s maybe not metaphorical, but literal. I think you have some room for that if you replace some of the non-wildfire metaphors.
Overall, there’s some good stuff going on here. Uptempo, good structure, etc. Hope that helps!
March 06, 2017
No members have liked this comment.