Brent Baxter

I like the title- nice internal rhyme.  And I think it was a good call to shorten it- it’s more intriguing.

However, I think you’re cutting yourself off at the knees with the angle on this one.  The “I’m with my girl, but I’m checking out other women,” really puts the singer in a bad light.  It might be funny to play live or with your buddies, but a singer trying to sell a bunch of records - to women - isn’t likely to gravitate to this angle.  Women hate that when their guy does it, so why would they like it when Luke Bryan admits to doing it.  They’re more likely to relate to the offended girlfriend than to the object of his ogling.

However, if you change the angle to just, “Dang, look at all these beautiful women.  I can’t help but check them out.  But I keep it on the down-low.  Some days are made for shades.”  Then the singer can be a single guy, and it’s not as offensive.  Of course, you ARE still objectifying women, but hopefully, you can pull it off with more “appreciation” than “lustification.”  If you do, I think it’ll be stronger commercially.

Thanks for sharing!

Phillip Lemmonds

Thanks for the input Brent!  I had the same concerns when I first read the lyrics, but since the theme and most of the lyrics came from a woman (Kim), I didn’t think any more about… till now.

I guess it can be viewed as a tongue-in-cheek song, as the guy gets walloped every time he gets caught looking…

Brent Baxter

It’s definitely fun and tongue-in-cheek, but I think it can retain a lot of that while removing the possible landline of disrespecting your girlfriend/wife. And that’s really only relevant if you’re interested in getting someone else to record it. If you’re just aiming to write a fun song, then mission accomplished.

David Pritchett

Phillip, I enjoyed the quirkiness of your song.  I do agree with Brent in his comments.  I thought the lyrics were well written but if you want to make it more commercial then a re-write to make it less objectifying women might be in order.  Another idea I had is to turn the song around and make it about women wearing shades looking at him and he is wondering what they must be thinking of him.  Just a thought.

Jayne Sachs

Interesting and fun song Phillip.  I agree with Brent.  Also, I would take a look at all the lyrics and try to make them as conversational as possible,  ie..
“I pop a sly smile as I take quickie look Current status partner swings a blindin’ right hook”

Personally, I would replace “quickie” with just quick as I think most guys would probably not say “quickie” (I could be wrong) and the “current status partner” seems formal to me… something like “My baby on my right arm swings her best hook”
If you’re going for more of a commercial song, I think all lyrics need to be fairly conversation.  Just my two cents.

Amber Lewis

Phillip,

Thank you so much for always listening to my songs and for the constructive feedback. I agree with Jayne on the word quickie, I would change that to quick too. I agree with Brent this would definitely a single guy. Very new creative new idea though. Some days were made for shades is catchy after listening it stuck with me.