Join The Community

Connect, showcase, get feedback and grow as a songwriter. Join the Frettie community today!

Gomorrah Burning - scratch demo

Wonder

January 05, 2016

Genre: Pop

More by Wonder


Likes

Our Sponsors

Likes:

Views: 1025

Responses: 6




Share

Report

About This Song


Dark folk pop. Losing faith.

Feedback Requested


Song structure, ideas for production--does it make you feel things?


6 Responses


Dennis Field

I really enjoyed the feel of this song. The melody kept me drawn in for sure. Thanks for sharing!

January 06, 2016

No members have liked this comment.

Prin Sielski

Off the bat, I think the simplicity of the song itself is appealing, even with just the guitar and vocal. Keep that in mind.

However, if you;re looking for production ideas, it depends if you want to poke the song out of the singer songwriter and folk genre. If so, I could see some very interested electronic EDM styling remixes in the song, because you have structured the song with so much space in it. If you want to stay musically organic, you may want to clip a few of the long notes to shorten a bar or two here and there, and this may give room for a cool percussion tracking or a bass to join the guitar with a more upbeat approach. I like it mellow, but once the track gets to the midpoint where your vocal goes high, I lose the melody a bit. So you’re going to have to edit the A/B sections to create that peak in the bridge, because the vocal is nice and raw. “I’m waiting for you” towards the end repeats but seems like we didn’t reconnect to the beginning of the song. I like the ending with a single chord. I would structure it with a solid A/B section, bridge, back to B, and possibly edit out some of the leftover A lyrics you have going on there.

January 07, 2016

No members have liked this comment.

Dick Plunk

Really nice song - gave me goose bumps. I love how the chorus is so soft and understated until the end of the song where you really let go and build it - well done. I also very much like your voice on this song.

January 07, 2016

No members have liked this comment.

Adam Gruss

This applies to all your songs, but I love the vibe. Definitely relaxing “rainy day” or “night driving” music. And the vocals are a joy to take in. Great work!

January 08, 2016

No members have liked this comment.

Mary Segato

Wow! Beautiful voice, and the song kept me engaged all the way through, nice melody. Can’t really offer much on production, as that is not my thing:) i guess it all depends on the genre you want. You kind of remind me of Jewel and her style.

January 11, 2016

No members have liked this comment.

Mikalyn Hay

I sub’d to your youtube and soundcloud - fan of your vocals and writing.  Very cool and lots going on!! 

January 14, 2016

No members have liked this comment.


You must be signed in to post feedback.


0

Dennis Field

I really enjoyed the feel of this song. The melody kept me drawn in for sure. Thanks for sharing!

January 06, 2016

0

Prin Sielski

Off the bat, I think the simplicity of the song itself is appealing, even with just the guitar and vocal. Keep that in mind.

However, if you;re looking for production ideas, it depends if you want to poke the song out of the singer songwriter and folk genre. If so, I could see some very interested electronic EDM styling remixes in the song, because you have structured the song with so much space in it. If you want to stay musically organic, you may want to clip a few of the long notes to shorten a bar or two here and there, and this may give room for a cool percussion tracking or a bass to join the guitar with a more upbeat approach. I like it mellow, but once the track gets to the midpoint where your vocal goes high, I lose the melody a bit. So you’re going to have to edit the A/B sections to create that peak in the bridge, because the vocal is nice and raw. “I’m waiting for you” towards the end repeats but seems like we didn’t reconnect to the beginning of the song. I like the ending with a single chord. I would structure it with a solid A/B section, bridge, back to B, and possibly edit out some of the leftover A lyrics you have going on there.

January 07, 2016

0

Dick Plunk

Really nice song - gave me goose bumps. I love how the chorus is so soft and understated until the end of the song where you really let go and build it - well done. I also very much like your voice on this song.

January 07, 2016

0

Adam Gruss

This applies to all your songs, but I love the vibe. Definitely relaxing “rainy day” or “night driving” music. And the vocals are a joy to take in. Great work!

January 08, 2016

0

Mary Segato

Wow! Beautiful voice, and the song kept me engaged all the way through, nice melody. Can’t really offer much on production, as that is not my thing:) i guess it all depends on the genre you want. You kind of remind me of Jewel and her style.

January 11, 2016

0

Mikalyn Hay

I sub’d to your youtube and soundcloud - fan of your vocals and writing.  Very cool and lots going on!! 

January 14, 2016


Gomorrah Burning - scratch demo

Written by Wonder

Maybe I'm tired of scrubbing my conscience clean
Wasting my breath telling you I'm sorry
I learned every song that says you deal in mercy
But it's set to a tune that says I'm undeserving

So if you want me
Come and find me
If you want me
I'm waiting for you

Feeling your gaze, cold and disapproving
Never quite sure which god it is I'm serving
They say your sacrifice softened judgment into yearning
But in the back of my mind, I smell Gomorrah burning

So if you want me
Come and find me
If you want me
I'm waiting for you

If you want me
Come and find me
If you want me, speak loud
In a language I can understand
If you want me
I'm waiting for you
I'm waiting for you

×